How Can I Give Oral Without Gagging?

Judy Dutton
Courtesy of Judy Dutton
We overheard a CafeMom ask a sex question that's a real tonsil-tickler – because horking is one of the top two embarrassing noises you can make during sex. (Come on, you know the other one.)

Question: How can I give my DH oral sex if my gag reflex seems to kick in as soon as he hits the back of my tongue?

I checked in again with sexpert Judy Dutton, author of How We Do It: How the Science of Sex Can Make You a Better Lover, to see what she had to say about this distasteful sitch.


Judy Dutton says: "Lots of women have this problem when performing oral sex. To avoid the gag reflex, use your hands during oral sex. Wrap your hand around the base of his penis, then use your mouth around the top of his penis. That way, you're providing that 'deep throat' sensation without having to make your mouth do all the work!

And besides, studies show that the tip of the penis contains far more nerve endings than the shaft or base.

Another tip: Make sure you're in control of the movement. Give him oral sex as he's lying down or seated and not moving too much. If he's thrusting into your mouth, odds are high he might push past your comfort zone and trigger that gag reflex."

This is great advice; you can basically use your clasped hands as a mouth-extender so you only have to use the front of your mouth on the head of his penis – no gagging necessary. It's a great idea to use spit or flavored lube to make the whole thing feel wetter and better, too.

You can also extend the whole erogenous zone, too. Rub his penis against your lips, even the softness of your cheeks for extra erotic action – not to mention a great visual for him. And pay attention to more than just his penis, too – gently handle his testicles and the sensitive skin of his inner thighs for supersexy fun.

That way, the thrusting that finishes him off takes minimal time – and minimal chance for gagging. So go on and blow

Have another sex or relationship question? Ask me in a comment below or send an email here, choosing Love & Sex as your subject. I'll work on getting an expert answer.

Read More >