Guess who has a sex tape coming out?
No, not Joan Rivers (whew!), Mindy McCready. Who? The oft-incarcerated country singer probably best known for mug shots and an underage affair with married baseball star Roger Clemens (which of course Roger denies).
Roger reportedly does not appear in the sex tape, but that didn't keep Vivid Entertainment from titling the video, Mindy McCready, Baseball Mistress.
Three months ago I wouldn't have known Mindy McCready from Mindy Cohn, but then I watched the latest season of VH1's Celebrity Rehab, in which she appeared with McKenzie Phillips, Dennis Rodman, Heidi Fleiss, Tom Sizemore and a few other drug-addled C- and D-listers. Honesty compels me to admit that I liked Mindy on the show. For starters, she's pretty and curvy. Also, she seemed contrite, kind and determined to get her life together. Don't they all, though? It's TV, after all.
Just after Celebrity Rehab ended, Mindy's life took another downturn when she quarreled with co-rehabber and roommate Kari Ann Peniche and reportedly released the not-all-that-scandalous video of Peniche frolicking naked in a tub with Eric "McSteamy" Dane and his wife (and really bad driver) Rebecca Gayheart as they did little but giggle and talk about how stoned they were. Yawn.
Speaking of, Mindy's sex tape will no doubt be yawn-inducing as well. Look, I've seen all the celebrity sex tapes. I have to -- it's part of my job as a web writer to stay on top of the latest news. No, really. And they are all unfathomably boring: poorly lit narcissists going at it in a dark room on grainy video, that is, in between mugging for the camera and doing bong hits. I'd rather watch Lost or Arrested Development, truth be told.
That said, I'll probably watch the Mindy tape anyway when it comes out April 19, but only because I must. For my job and whatnot.
I'll let you know if there's anything in it worth seeing, but don't hold your breath.
What do you think of all this Mindy McCready business?