Sex Addiction: The New Excuse for Cheating

jesse james
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Jesse James. Tiger Woods. Cheating hearts. Rumors of sex addiction. Even my beloved David Duchovny did a stint in sex rehab.

They all could have said the following to their wives:

Oh hi honey. Yeah, don't worry about the girls I did the nakey with. You see, I'm addicted to sex, so it's not my fault. I ONLY love you.


Plenty of people mess up and cheat. It happens. It sucks and it's lame, but it happens. Sometimes a relationship can recover, sometimes not. But has sex addition become the new excuse for cheating?

And what the heck is sex addition?

According to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), sex addition is an incurable illness. This addiction can take on many forms including a "compulsive need for sex, extreme dependency on one or many people, or a chronic preoccupation with romance, intrigue, or fantasy. An obsessive compulsive pattern, either sexual or emotional, or both, exists in which relationships or sexual activities have become increasingly destructive to career, family, and sense of self-respect."

Hmm ... I might have even dabbled in sex addition myself. But I do know sex addicts. And knowing these people means I know excuse after excuse after excuse.

I hate excuses. I don't even like it when someone has to cancel plans with me and they have three reasons why -- I have a headache and a have to work late and I have to be home tonight since my landlord was coming to fix the blah blah blah. Just tell me you can't make it. I'm fine with that.

If my husband ever cheated and said it was because of his sex addiction I would call him an a-hole for not being able to control himself. And then I would unleash a wrath I didn't even realize I was capable of. (I'm a Scorpio. It is what it is.)

Jesse. Tiger. What were they thinking? How could they believe they wouldn't get caught? Did they not think about consequence? And both have reportedly cheated more than once. Years of cheating! If it happened one time (ONE time!) and they owned up to their mistake, maybe they could be forgiven. MAYBE. But we're talking numerous times, with many women, over a span of time. Spanning time!

Ultimately it is a choice right? You can choose to indulge in your addiction or you can choose to keep your pants on and get help before your dirty secrets are exposed to the world. 

Think about it: If Jesse owned up to his infidelities to Sandra Bullock (or in Tiger's case, his transgressions) without being forced to tell her because the story was leaked, I think they would have a better chance of working it out and staying together. That's why the David Duchovny sex addition story was a lot quieter -- there wasn't woman after woman coming forward with sexy text message proof of their raunchy romps. It was tidy. Duchovny claimed the sex addict status and did a stint in rehab. Now he and Tea Leoni seem as happy as ever.

But Tiger and Jesse were caught. Whispers of sex addiction came after. And it's sad, pathetic really, that sex addiction has become an excuse for cheating over and over and over again.

What do you think? Does sex addiction let cheaters off the hook too easily?

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