Should You Have Sex on the First Date?


Flickr: Photo by rightee

Welcome to our very first He Said/She Said post where we'll be asking our favorite bloggers to weigh in on the love and sex issue of the week. Today's burning -- but not in that way -- question to be discussed and dissected: Should you have sex on the first date?

This week's love advice givers, Whit and Tricia Honea, hail from Seattle where they 'rastle two young boys (their children) and write for our entertainment. Whit spends time pondering the considerable and the negligible at Honea Express and Tricia rants, raves and hits the nail on the head at Turning Trix.



So tell us, Honeas; should you have sex on the first date?

Whit: I'm a big proponent of sex on the first date. Or any date.

I think a girl needs to be responsible about it. You never know when the mood is going to strike you. You should always be prepared.

Whit: Prepared for what?

Tricia: Sex.

Whit: So a girl is prepared for sex and a man is expecting sex?

Tricia: A man is hoping for sex. I think the girl is always the one who can say yes or no.

Whit: What if a guy doesn't want to ruin it? What if he wants to make sure the girl is the right one? I had to have a lot of sex on a lot of first dates to learn from my mistakes.

: You're still learning aren't you? I can respect that, but I think it's kind of a turn off. You're feeling the connection and the guy says, "Oh, well, I'm saving myself for the right girl." What?

Whit: So if a guy doesn't sleep with a girl on the first date for his own moral or personal reasons it's a slap in the face and if a girl doesn't sleep with a guy on the first date she's a tease?

Tricia: I guess it's the same for both, because you're feeling the connection and thinking there is something good here and girls, just like guys, get aroused -- and for someone to play along and then say no? That's not fun. I think that people that don't want to have sex on the first date because of religious beliefs and what not, are going to stick to people of like mind from churches, community groups etc.

: Or eHarmony? Do you think having sex on the first date changes the dynamic of the relationship? Does it alter the course of where it could go?

Tricia: I  think it depends on the maturity of the people dating.

Whit: I'm not talking about old people.

Tricia: If people are looking for commitment, for marriage, then it can.

Whit: Isn't that what everyone is looking for when they are dating? On some level? Or are they just looking for sex on the first date?

Tricia: Why did you ask me out?

Whit: You had a nice car.

Tricia: No. Really? Did you want to get in my pants?

Eventually, after I got to know you better.

Tricia: Then why did you want to have sex on the first date?
Whit: Because it felt like you expected it after the jazz and the dinner and stuff.

: Did you really think I expected it?

Whit: I think you were hoping. Would you recommend to people that they should have sex on the first date?

Tricia: I think they should go with how they feel. There should be no pressure. Like, oh, he just bought me dinner so now I have to put out. Would you?

: Yes, I highly recommend it. They should just skip dinner so they don't have to have sleepy sex. Just go out for pie afterwards.


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