Jay-Z and Beyonce were not at the White House Correspondents' Dinner last night (and neither was Lindsay Lohan so simmer down, Tom Brokaw), but that doesn't mean there's nothing fun to report. Come for the jokes. Stay for the jokes, people. President Obama and host Conan O'Brien brought lots of chuckles last night with their joke lineups, one the best being the hilarity of Obama's fashion bangs. LOL!

Here are the funniest jokes you missed if you didn't tune in last night (and seriously, who did?). 

Did you hear -- there was an explosion at the White House and President Obama was injured! Oh wait, no, that's a false rumor. But wait -- a terrorist organization threatened to detonate bombs planted in the White House unless the U.S. declares war on North Korea! Oh wait, no ...

A hacker group has been stirring up public paranoia this afternoon. First, they hacked the AP's Twitter account and posted a false tweet that the White House had been bombed: "Two Explosions in the White House and Barack Obama is injured." Within 15 minutes the tweet was caught and Twitter suspended the AP's account, but not before about 4,000 retweets happened. As for the White House bomb threat, that actually did happen. But it was an empty threat -- just another stupid case of swatting.

Although yesterday was all about fun and Easter games at the White House -- President Obama, the First Family, and 30K visitors took part in the annual Easter Egg Roll -- today, the Obama administration had an important announcement via Twitter. They tweeted out a video of "a special message from the president," framed with a shot of the lectern in the White House press room. 

Being that serious breaking news is often reported from that room, we had to wonder what was going on and click to see what was up. Turns out, it's not at all what you'd expect!

Check it out ...

The White House will host its annual Easter Egg Roll on Monday April 1 this year. More than 35,000 people will join the First Family on the South Lawn for “games, stories, and, of course, the traditional egg roll.”

Also, because we apparently can’t just let kids have fun anymore, the day’s activities will include sports courts and cooking demonstrations in accordance with Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! campaign. Nothing says “Happy Easter” like educating families on “smart ways to incorporate healthy eating and exercise choices into their daily routines.”

Rosa Parks, hero of the civil rights movement, became the first black woman to be memorialized with a life-sized statue in the U.S. Capitol today. And to that I say ... about time and hallelujah!

The statue of Parks is seated, depicting her pose as she waited to be arrested for her simple, yet incredible, act of bravery and defiance: refusing to give up her seat to a white person on a segregated bus, a mere half a century ago in Alabama. It’s a perfect memorial for the woman and the act that helped spur the civil right movement, end the scourge of segregation, and led to the passage of the Voting Rights Act. It’s a reminder that anyone can make a difference by acting with integrity and the courage of their convictions.

Here we go again! Last month, it was the eye-roll seen 'round the world. This month, First Lady Michelle Obama's offense is appearing on the Oscars Sunday night and, worst of all, appearing with military members! Gasp! How horrible! What on earth was the FLOTUS thinking using members of the military as “background,” “decoration,” and even “human wallpaper,” outraged Twitter users squawked! 

Here's a wake-up call: She wasn't doing any such thing. In reality -- AKA the whole, wide world outside of the FOX News-y bubble -- Mrs. Obama happened to be multi-tasking that night, and besides presenting the award for Best Picture, she was also hosting the black tie 2013 Governors' Dinner at the White House. At which there were military members present. Who happened to be behind the First Lady. What's the big deal?

Okay, there's this buzzword floating around a lot these days. Maybe you've heard it? Sequester. As in, "Who will suffer the most from the sequester?" Or, "Where will the sequester cuts hurt your community?" Or, "Should we panic over the sequester, and if so, how soon? Today? Yesterday?"

You may be wondering, WHAT THE HELL IS THE SEQUESTER? So you Google that, and you get lots of words. Words with no pictures, and no mention of the Oscars, either, so that's super boring. But wait! "Robert Pattinson" is here to explain to you what the sequester is and how it could affect you.

No one expected that figureheads from the George W. Bush era would ever come out swinging for gay marriage. But in the last few years, we've been pleasantly surprised to find that a few Republicans -- like former First Lady Laura Bush, Colin Powell, and former VP Dick Cheney -- really do have souls! They really do support all Americans being able to enjoy the same officiality and benefits associated with marriage. At least according to interviews they've given in the last couple of years. For instance, Laura Bush famously said to Larry King in 2010, "When couples are committed to each other and love each other, then they ought to have the same sort of rights that everyone has." Awesome, right?

But no. She had to go and do something to ruin it ... The snippet was used in a new Respect for Marriage Coalition ad, and when Bush caught wind of it, she had a fit and demanded her clip be edited out.

Here's the ad in question ...