POSTS WITH TAG: politics

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    Ahh, President Obama ... the great Uniter in Chief. Or something. Remember when President Hopey-Changey was going to usher us into an era of butterflies and rainbows and free medical care for all? Things aren’t exactly working out like that, are they?

    The Obama Administration seems to have a tough time facing failure. Take senior communications strategist Dan Pfeiffer, who took to Twitter on Monday to bully a woman with stage-4 gallbladder cancer. The White House is now belittling a cancer patient. That’s what we’ve come to, America.

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    According to a new tell-all book, Nobel Peace Prize winner Barack Obama thinks he’s “really good at killing people.” Double Down: Game Change 2012, by Mark Halperin and John Heilemann, is full of juicy gossip out of the 2012 election, including that little gem, which was supposedly said while discussing drone strikes last year.

    The White House had no official comment on the claim, other than senior Obama advisor Dan Pfeiffer saying, “The president is always frustrated about leaks ... he hates leaks.” I bet! I wouldn’t like my off-handed lame attempts at humor to be broadcast to world either.

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    Remember back when President Obama promised us that if we liked our health care plan, we could keep our health care plan? Well, he better check his pants, because there’s a good chance they’re on fire, as millions of Americans are about to lose their health insurance.

    Repeatedly over the last several years, President Obama has reassured worried Americans that if they were happy with their health care plans, they’d be able to keep them. I guess what he really meant to say was, “If you like your plan, you can keep your plan … so long as it meets all the stringent requirements that I decide are necessary, and you’re willing to pay the skyrocketing premiums.”

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    Hey! Where did the Obamacare girl go? It looks like the government finally decided to take down the stock image of the smiling lady from the front page of their glitchy, non-workable health care website.

    Last week the poor girl was photoshoped in mock panic over the healthcare.gov’s instantly infamous failure of a launch, and it seems that now she’s just up and vanished. The image on the front page of the website is now some super lame graphics, which likely exist to indicate all the ways you still can’t purchase health insurance on the exchanges.

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    In a press conference Thursday morning, President Obama addressed the end of the government shutdown, and urged members of Congress to “move on from the manufactured crisis.” You know, because our government being unable to work together and compromise is manufactured.

    So if this whole thing was a “manufactured crisis,” then who manufactured it? His normal go-to culprit in the blame game is the GOP in general, or President Bush or Rush Limbaugh specifically, but this time he went more personal.

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    It's over -- it's finally over -- at least for a few months! The government shutdown, which lasted a whopping 16 days, has been lifted after the Senate voted 81 to 18 late last night to approve a proposal that they somehow found the ability to put their hard heads together and concoct. The House followed with a sad 285 to 144 vote in favor of the proposal and it was finally signed by President Obama at 12:30 a.m.

    So it goes without saying, it was a long night for our elected leaders, but hey, it was an even longer night for all of those furloughed workers who finally got news that they can return to work today -- and that at the very least they'll be receiving back pay for the days of work they missed. But the longest night of all, perhaps, could be claimed by one vocal White House stenographer who made her feelings known as the bill was being passed. 

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    Americans, our long national nightmare is over...ish. Today the Senate passed a proposal to reopen the government. Then Speaker of the House John Boehner announced that he would bring the Senate bill to the floor and he would encourage his fellow Republicans to pass it. "We fought the good fight," Boehner said. "We just didn't win." It's not officially over, yet -- not until the House votes later on tonight. But Boehner expressed confidence that government would reopen tomorrow. What a relief! I think we were about the smash our heads against that debt ceiling.

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    Ugh. Remember Rielle Hunter, the woman John Edwards had an affair with back when he was trying to run for president? She wrote that tell-all, What Really Happened: John Edwards, Our Daughter, and Me? Oh God, I'm so sorry. You probably forgot all about her, and now I've ruined your day by bringing up that shameful shitastrophe. You know what? Forget it. I shouldn't have mentioned her at all. It's just that, well, she's written a revision of her book: In Hindsight, What Really Happened: The Revised Edition: John Edwards, Our Daughter, and Me. Yes, that's the real title, TWO colons and all.

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    This government shutdown, it's enough to make a person drink. Amirite? I'm not advocating self-medicating your shutdown woes or anything, but if you happen to be doing that anyway, there is something you should know: You can put that drinking to good use. A website will actually help you drunk-dial Congress. You plug in your phone number and they'll call you back with a recorded message saying, "Is this government shutdown making you want to drink? When I drink I like to tell people what’s on my mind." Then they send your call to the office of a random House member. The website was created by a left-leaning org, but it dials Republicans and Democrats alike.

    So, you take care of the drinking, DrunkDialCongress.org has the dialing covered for you and some great talking points to use. But while we're having fun, let's think up some more. Here's a list of what you could say when you drunk dial Congress.

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    Are you sick and tired of hearing the same people lodge complaints about the government shutdown on news programs? Even my close friends' tweet-insults at whichever politician they're peeved at in the moment are getting bor-ring to read. Words don't do a whole lot to change the situation or further a political cause, do they?

    But while most of us rattle our rants on Facebook and go back to eating lunch, an unassuming 45-year-old man named Chris Cox quietly bought a lawn mower, threw on jeans and a T-shirt, and headed up from South Carolina to Washington, D.C. He has made more of an impact than the millions screaming for change by doing something totally wacky and awesome: mowing the lawn in front of the Lincoln Memorial

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