A recent news report has some people biting their nails with worry over the stick figure family on the backs of their cars. According to a local news station in Richmond, Virginia, bumper stickers "could be putting you, your family and your home at risk."
Who knew those happy little stick figures could be so dangerous? Well they are, because they give entirely too much information away. Like, if the daddy stick figure is in uniform, burglars will rob your house, because he's obviously military and therefore overseas and never home.
And if the son stick figure is holding a football -- fuhgeddaboudit. Your house will be robbed between the hours of 3 P.M. and 5 P.M. while mom is on the sidelines at practice. Let's not even get into the advertisement to kidnappers that is the "baby on board" sign.
Or maybe we should just take a chill pill not freak out about villains stalking our bumper stickers. I'm pretty sure casing a joint has more to do with watching people, not following the minivan with the stick figure family home.
More from The Stir: Stick-Figure Family Stickers & Mom Vanity Plates Bring Out the Haters
Besides, the report doesn't even make any sense. Wouldn't knowing the dad's in the military deter someone from robbing that family? If he's in the service, he knows how to use a weapon, and I bet he's more likely to own one and not be afraid to use it to protect his home and family. I mean, he protects his country for a living, you think he's not going to protect his own? Actually, I'm thinking I might just get an "I love a man in the military" yard sign. It's probably as good as a security system. I'll put it next to my "rottweilers live here" sign. Pay no attention to the fluffy white lapdog in the window.
Go ahead and keep your stick figure family if it makes you happy, or makes your kids feel special, or whatever reason. The only bumper sticker that will get you robbed is the one that says, "I have lots of unregistered Apple products and expensive jewelry and my address is ..."
Do you think bumper stickers will get you robbed?
Image via The Good Men Project/Twitter