What would you do if your spouse died? Most of us would cry, grieve, gather emotional support, plan the funeral, get on about the business of insurance policies and paperwork, and try our best to go on, not only for any children, but for our friends, family, and ourselves. But some can't even bear the thought of another day without their beloved. Adrian Cross couldn't. Mere hours after he left the hospital where his soul mate, 37-year-old Tammy, died, he reportedly put on one of her pink nightgowns, held a picture of her, lay down on their bed, and committed suicide.
Friends and family say that 45-year-old Adrian of Wales was so devastated when his wife passed away in the hospital -- after what authorities think may have been a "weak" heart due to too many prescription drugs to deal with her anxiety -- that he lay over her body.
Family members testified at the death inquest that Adrian said, "I'll see you later, Tam," while he held her lifeless body. His aunt assumed he meant that he would come back to the hospital again later. But apparently he had much more heartbreaking things in mind.
He was found that evening at their home, in Tammy's nightgown, holding a picture of her, after having downed a cocktail of prescription drugs.
Apparently he had once told Tammy's sister-in-law: "If anything happens to her, I'll be right behind her." The two had reportedly not spent even one day apart in their entire 15-year marriage.
Wow. It sounds like this couple were truly, madly, deeply in love. Though it also sounds as if Tammy, and possibly her husband, struggled with some psychological issues, given that Tammy had long dealt with debilitating bouts of severe anxiety. Perhaps her frailty had brought them even closer together.
It doesn't seem like the two had children, but even so, they had many who loved them. Would it have been "better" if Adrian had stayed in this life for them? Better if maybe he had devoted the rest of his life to charitable endeavors? Or perhaps tried to raise awareness of the anxiety condition that Tammy suffered from?
It's hard to say. We can't judge what another person should do. I would hope if I pass before my time, someone doesn't come after me. I would want that person to stay behind and maybe honor me by doing work with animal rescue groups or something else I care about.
But who is to say that Adrian could have done anything, being so heartbroken. This is the person he had pledged to be with throughout life -- and in death. This was his choice. I hope they are peacefully together now. But I always prefer to hear that someone does not make this choice -- EVER.
What will you do if your spouse dies early?
If you or anyone you know is thinking suicide and needs help, please call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
Image via Katielips/Flickr