Men are a sucker for a pretty lady. Like, a real sucker. Like, you can totally have the absolute worst personality in the world, but if you're pretty -- well, men won't care. In case you think I'm making this up, check out the dating profile of one AaronCarterFan. The name should be enough to make most men click by, but combine that with the 25-year-old woman's racist, gold-digging, misspelled, idiotic, manipulative profile, and you'd hope she would have had zero messages in her inbox. Instead, she had 150. Within 24 hours.
Cracked blogger Alli Reed hoped to create a fake dating profile so despicable that no man would respond to it. But she did that in a weird way -- she used lots of pictures of her gorgeous, busty, model gal pal.
Alli apparently didn't know what I figured out ages ago -- if a guy is attracted to you, you could tell him you're a serial killer and he'll be all, "Aww, well, you're not gonna kill me, are ya, cutie?" In my early 20s, working part-time in a nightclub while attending college, I thought I came up with a brilliant plan to get the guys who would hit on me all night to leave me alone. I would tell them horrible things about myself -- the worst things I could think of -- in hopes that they'd go away. Once, I told a man who was particularly tenacious that I had five children, all by different fathers, that I had AIDS and herpes, and that I was dead broke, and a few other things thrown in that I've forgotten. His response? "I love kids!"
Not joking. (What did work? The time I wore fake bad teeth -- all I had to do was smile and they scampered.)
But when Alli posted a dating profile that not only described herself as an "Aaron Carter fan" but also that she loved "convincing people im pregnat lol"; that the first thing men notice about her is "Prolly ... the drink Im throwing in there face"; and suggested men only email her if "ur rich" -- she expected no one would show up for the ride to crazy town.
Boy was she wrong. Almost 200 responded in one day. Shocked, Alli began trying to turn the guys off by email. She told one she wanted to "pull out his teeth" -- but he responded by asking for her phone number.
Not really a surprise considering AaronCarterFan also expressed an interest in casual sex. There are many men who would trade some teeth for sex. It truly makes you weep for humanity.
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Profiles that would have gotten less responses? Possibly been ignored altogether? My guesses:
- A 28-year-old woman who wants to be married and pregnant within six months -- and no sex until marriage.
- A 50-year-old woman looking to date a 50-year-old man.
- A 41-year-old woman who writes, "Marriage-minded only! NO casual encounters! No sex! I HATE sex! Yes, you must pay for the first date!" (Though if this woman is pretty, she still might get some responses.)
- A 32-year-old lawyer with short hair who went to Harvard and is pictured wearing a turtleneck and beige slacks.
- A woman who writes, "I am VERY OPINIONATED!" (And she's not hot.)
Why do you think men responded to this profile? Does it surprise you?
Image via Ken Seet/Corbis