assault with squirrelThere are times we get really mad at people. People can be evil and do things that push you to the edge of insanity of the bad variety and the only way to teeter back into the realm of sane is to do something insane. This could mean many different things depending on your definition of insane. Some like exercising their lungs with a yell, others prefer making loud noises by slamming doors. Some even sacrifice their skin and punch walls. Or windows ... like my sister once did when she was mad at me for hitting her over the head with the alarm clock she slept through for an hour. What? We were young. And angsty.

But one woman went as far as getting so mad at her boyfriend that she stabbed him with a squirrel. It was ceramic. And she was mad. Because he didn't bring her a beer.

Let me set this story up.

Helen Ann Williams, 44, was waiting for her man to come back from the store on Christmas morning with some beer. You know, because it's the breakfast of champions, the sparkle that everyone should want under their tree. The guy was unsuccessful on his trip to the store. It was Christmas morn, after all, and most of the stores are closed. Clearly this was a major mistake on his part. The beer should have been stocked! Hidden in stockings as if it was brought from St. Nick. But no. Helen got pissed. Real mad. So she hit him over the head with a ceramic squirrel. It broke and then she stabbed him with the sharp pieces of it.

Ouch!

This South Carolina couple seems to have a whole host of issues beyond running out of beer on a holiday. The man, whose name wasn't released, was bleeding. A lot. The cops came. The couple tried to pass the whole incident off as someone took a little fall, but Helen had blood on her hands. The ceramic squirrel that once adorned a shelf innocently was clearly a weapon. Helen was charged with domestic violence.

More from The Stir: 10 Headlines Too Weird to Be Real (But They Are)

I hope they mend that squirrel. Clean it up and super glue it together. If they want to. Maybe it can be therapeutic. Or something. Yikes.

What do you think of this story? Have you ever done something like this? Be honest!

 

Image via WVTM