1,250 Bags of 'Obamacare' Heroin Seized by Police


heroinPoor Obamacare. It's suffering a public relations nightmare right now. I think it'll come out okay eventually, but right now people can't see the benefits through the hassle and problems. Well, a group of drug dealers could change our perception of Obamacare. Four people were arrested with 1,250 bags of heroin stamped "Obamacare" and "Kurt Cobain." Naming a drug after a rock star with a history with opiates is logical (if super dark). But naming heroin after Obamacare? Hm ... maybe we should compare the two.

1. With heroin, you can keep your existing dealer. With Obamacare, you may not be able to keep your existing plan after all. Bummer.

2. If you want to buy heroin, you don't have to navigate a buggy website. Just figure out via word of mouth whom to call. With Obamacare, you -- oh, well, you've probably heard about the website.

3. With heroin, you pretty much know what you're getting. Ish. I mean, it depends on how well you trust your drug dealer. With Obamacare, you really do have to read the fine print of every health plan, though supposedly the ones on the exchange have all been vetted.

4. Heroin feels amazing. That's why people keep doing it even though it'll ruin your life. Obamacare contains no opiates whatsoever. What fun is that?

5. The price of heroin varies, but it's quite clear that when YOU take heroin, it's society that ultimately pays the price. With Obamacare, the whole point is that everyone takes as much personal responsibility for their health care as they can. But to make it work, they really need more young, healthy people to sign up and take care of their health. Ugh, responsibility! If you hate responsibility, heroin is way better.

6. You'll get into WAY more trouble if you get caught with heroin than you will if you fail to sign up for Obamacare. That makes heroin a whole lot more bad-ass. 

Okay, obviously we're joking here and there is no comparison. Heroin is a dangerous drug that will wreck your life. Obamacare is a pain in the ass but ultimately could work in most people's favor eventually. 

Are we ready yet to make jokes about Obamacare?


Image via isafmedia/Flickr

crime, health care


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Rando... Randomlady

" "Kurt Cobain." Naming a drug after a rock star who died from a heroin overdose is logical (if super dark)" was his shotgun named cocaine?

nonmember avatar Scott

Kurt died from a shotgun wound, not an overdose.

LeeshaE LeeshaE

^^^ Exactly what I thought and then I stopped reading the article

Elaine Cox

well obamacare is a joke so no problem with it..heroin is cheap depending on the brand...obamacare is already costing me 1200 a month

Todd Vrancic

Kurt Cobain had overdosed on heroin before he committed suicide, he obviously survived the overdose.  Make jokes about the Affordable Care Ace aka Obamacare if it makes you happy, free speech, you know.

nonmember avatar dnerby

i think this whole article is F***ed up.... geez, lets go make fun of old people now... not that herion users deserve any sort of recognition or praise at all... but man, can you hit any lower?

Happy... Happydad73

Personal responsibility?!? If young, healthy people have to subsidize your health care, you ate not taking personal responsibility!

Todd Vrancic

Dude, that's what insurance is.  The risk is spread out over the entire pool, so that getting sick won't necessarily bankrupt someone.  Insurance companies WANT young, healthy people to have insurance to balance out the fact that not-so-young, not-so-healthy people who have insurance are costing them money.

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