If you've ever been stuck in an airport on a holiday, you know people can get restless. They say things to others that they might ordinarily not say, or they let their tempers get the best of them and snap at an unsuspecting airline worker or a fellow traveler. OR, if they're anything like ABC's The Bachelor producer Elan Gale and a fellow passenger, they just start a classic grammar school note-passing war on the plane and document the entire episode on Twitter.
While stuck on a delayed flight on Thanksgiving, Gale decided to vent his frustration by focusing on a very annoying woman who kept bugging flight attendants with her sob story about missing the holiday with her family. His first Twitter post about the woman is tame and amusing:
Our flight is delayed. A woman on here is very upset because she has Thanksgiving plans. She is the only one obviously. Praying for her
Okay. He proceeds to document how the lady kept insisting that no one understood how important she was to her family and how she was going to miss her connecting flight. Elan surmissed that this uptight passenger could benefit from a little alcohol, so he passed her a glass of red wine, along with this note:
Dear Lady in 7A,
It has come to my attention that today is your Thanksgiving. It must be hard to not be with your family! Please accept this glass of wine. It is a gift from me to you. Hopefully, if you drink it, you won't be able to use your mouth to talk! Love, Elan
Obviously, our trouble-making friend knew the lady would go beserk and say something. But who knew she would be so civilized that she, too, would respond via old-fashioned pen and paper? Shakespeare would have been proud. Here was the passenger's reply -- the second of several notes that were exchanged back and forth throughout the length of the trip. Anyone else smell the makings of a bad romantic comedy script somewhere in here?
Whoa. While I agree that Elan's note was jerky, I'm not sure how Diane made such a leap. But what I understand less is why Elan got so twisted about this instead of just laughing it off. How do I know he got twisted? Well, because he tweeted:
Well I don't know what I'm going to so next but I've got two hours left on this flight and I'm going to retaliate
He then walked by her seat and said, "I'll be back shortly," which is creepy as hell, and THEN responded with yet another note that ended with "I hate you very much. Eat my d**k."
At this point, I question the woman's thought process for writing back, but I guess who could resist (after all, flights can be so boring):
According to Elan, "Diane" didn't speak to authorities when they landed, but she did slap him in the face!
He didn't press charges, which I'm guessing is either because he didn't take her too seriously OR because, after hours on a delayed flight, who wants to fill out a lengthy police report?
Or maybe Elan just knew that his mom, who was waiting for him at the other end of this lunatic flight, could sum things up best for "Diane" with this photo:
Pass the turkey and the love!
Who do you think was more to blame for this note-passing airplane feud?
Images via @theyearofelan/Twitter
Pens, pencils, markers, etc.