I'm no criminal defense attorney, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that if all your lawyer can do when questioned about your actions is "roll her eyes and shrug," you're probably ... screwed. Unfortunately for Anti-Semitic Elmo, that's exactly what his attorney did when asked by reporters to explain her client's latest bizarro crime -- and that's probably why the fuzzy red racist (49-year-old Dan Sandler) is headed to jail.
That's right, Elmo's World is about to get a whole lot smaller -- but not because of that insanely intolerant tirade Sandler unleashed on the tourists of Times Square (while dressed as Elmo, of course). No, this time Mr. Sandler is in trouble for a crime that's even more bizarre, if that's possible: Attempting to extort the Girl Scouts of America.
Uh, yeah. Apparently Sandler is being accused of telling Girl Scouts staff that he would "falsely accuse the organization of pimping out young girls at their camps for sex with men." Uh ... what?! Except he didn't really mean it, natch -- Sandler says now that what he did was “more of a protest” against “a very corrupt organization because of their relationship to the pharmaceutical industry.”
That's when his lawyer rolled her eyes and shrugged. And then he was sentenced to a year in prison and fined $2 million.
Honestly, I don't know if prison is even gonna help this dude -- he's clearly got more than a few screws loose. I'm sure his lawyer was like, Whatever, at least if this guy goes to jail, I don't have to deal with him anymore. But seriously? Between the Kevin Clash controversy and Sandler's crazy stunts, it might be time for Elmo to retire. A reputation this bad isn't easy for anyone to overcome, particular a character who's supposed to embody all things "kid-friendly" (and I mean really kid-friendly, not kid "friendly").
Do you think Anti-Semitic Elmo should go to jail?
Image via obskura/Flickr