You knew it was coming. If you didn’t, you should have. College kids are generally our most unobstructed and free-thinking minds, what with all of the exposure to new people, theories, knowledge, and such. But somebody at Smith College in Northampton, Massachusetts, didn’t get the memo and instead dreamt up the concept of a sorority strictly for straight people.
An email originally posted by an anonymous student on Tumblr -- which has since been stripped off -- invited classmates to join her in creating an “exclusive” chapter of Delta Gamma specifically for the school’s piteously underserved and marginalized straight girls. Because there just aren’t enough organizations in the world for heteros to dominate. Except, like, almost every organization that’s ever been created.
Teen and just-barely-20-something girls need an excuse to be cliquish like Miley Cyrus needs a reason to twerk. But this one is especially petty and superficial since 1) a gal with the passion to attend an all-women’s liberal arts college would ostensibly be pro-all women, and 2) burgeoning clubs and activities for the LGBT community pose absolutely no threat to straight folks whatsoever. You know, like the institution of a Black or Asian or Latino Student Union doesn’t make anybody else any less white.
Also, it’s the school Gloria Steinem went to. I mean, come on. Do better just because.
Delta Gamma officials have denied knowledge of any such chapter and certainly haven’t thrown any kind of public support behind the idea. In other words, taint gonna happen far as they’re concerned. So the mystery emailer’s hopes of creating a schedule of planned activities just for straight girls, like "sorority mixers with Amherst men, weekly dinner dates, weekly photo shoots where we would dress up nice [and] baking nights," are apparently dashed. Sounds like a tidy little flashback to the 1940s anyway, which may explain her paranoia in the first place.
But if homegirl would’ve done her research, she would’ve known that Smith’s campus doesn’t have any sororities at all and the SGA doesn’t charter exclusive organizations. Meaning exclusionary clubs like the one she proposed would never get the approval to launch, much less enjoy a groundswell of membership.
Whether school administrators track down her IP address for good measure or let the incident slide with a shake of the head, the emailer will probably manage to out her own self some kind of way since she feels so much like sister outsider in what is, according to her, a flood of lesbians on the Smith campus. You know intolerance tends to percolate and spill over fairly easily. Let’s wait her out.
Is the suggestion of an all-straight sorority totally out of line?
Image via Charles Roberts/Flickr