Mom Allegedly Held Daughter's Hand While Father Abused Her

Horrifying 432

policeSometimes you read something in the news that is so horrible, you have to read it three times to convince yourself it could be true. Such is the case of a 36-year-old mother from Michigan accused of holding her 3-year-old daughter's hand while the child's father sexually assaulted the child. Essentially, cops say the mom helped the dad assault their daughter!

The story is horrific. It's heinous. But it gets worse.

According to police, the mother -- whose name is being withheld because it could identify her child, a rape victim -- was herself a victim of sexual assault as a child. The mom's abuse started at the tender age of 5. She was abused by a number of men as a child, and then further abused by her own husband as an adult.

Does it excuse her alleged behavior? Certainly not.

There is no excuse for standing by when a child is raped.

And yet, it does explain it, at least a little.

Psychologists have long debated what's known as the cycle of abuse, whereby someone abused as a child is at an increased risk of being a perpetrator when they grow up.

Abuse is what they know.

It's easy to look at this woman and think, what kind of mother would allow this to happen to her child? What kind of mother would stand idly by as her child was violated?

But she didn't stand idly by, at least not according to the police reports. She reportedly held the girl's hand during the assaults so "it wouldn’t hurt that much." There was, it sounds, at least a seed of compassion, a sense that the child needed her. If she was a complete monster, would she have bothered to comfort her child?

Was it enough to excuse her actions? Enough to make her sympathetic?

I don't know. My stomach is still turning by the horror of what this little 3-year-old went through, seemingly at the hands of the two people who were supposed to care for her most. SHE is the one I feel for here.

Mom's background and holding her daughter's hand are certainly not enough to keep her out of the courts. The mother is being charged with two counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct (her husband is facing stiffer penalties -- 12 counts of first degree criminal conduct).

How do you feel about this mother? Do you have any compassion for what she's been through or only contempt for what police say she has done?


Image via Jason Rojas/Flickr

child abuse, crime


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Jenny... JennyG0929

Light her face on fire. I was abused and could never, ever do that to my child.

Paws84 Paws84

This is disgusting! I'm sickened by how you people think that it's justified to watch your daughter be raped all because she had a similar background! Who cares if the mother was abused everyday?! A person's background and upbringing shouldn't mean much at all in cases like this. The point is, she STOOD BY and said, 'it's ok if you want to bang my 3 YEAR OLD, hopefully she can take it.' OMG what is wrong with you people? Who cares if she held her hand? Give her ass the death penalty.

Movie... Moviebuff

I have no compassion for her. I was abuse as I child and no way in hell would I allow or help my child go through what happened to me.

lovem... lovemy2sons25

I think they should shove a broken glass bottle in her vagina and cut off his penis and shove a broken glass bottle in his ass. Disgusting!!


So sick and tired of the "abuse excuse"! She is complicit in this horrible crime. She led the lamb to the slaughter! If you find compassion for her, you would also have find compassion for Hitler and Manson who also had ruff childhoods,and I really don't think too many would.If not for the innocent child,I would say name and shame this bitch and the father,who by the by,seems to have just got an "honorable mention" in this story.Did you forget that he did the actual rape?

nonmember avatar Amber

You think that female monster holding her child's hands down during this rape brought comfort to her 3 year old??? This is insane. So the mother was abused herself as a child, this give her no excuse. She violated her child, she may not be the person to penetrate and rape her, but she stood there and did nothing... accept help her husband rape their child. They both deserve to be charged and have this child taken out of their care for the rest of their lives.

youth... youthfulsoul

Horrifying. Disgusting pos. Hope she never has the rights to her children again and I hope dear old dad gets raped, repeatedly, in jail. 

nonmember avatar Shawna

That is freaking ridiculous I was repeatedly sexually abused growing up and there is no way in hell I would ever let that happen to my child! There should be a worse punishments for mothers who allow or encourage this behavior. We have a stronger bond with our children we carry them and nourish them while they grow inside of us. Wtf is wrong with people our country's people get worse and more deprived every year. Frankly there should be no sitting in jail letting tax payers pay for the sick twisted things people are doing to the children our future generation while they get to fantasize about what they have done, they should get the death penalty period. If u rape or sexually assault a child u should go on death row. There is no fixing them and there is no way we should endanger our children by letting them back on the street. Grow up govt., lawyers and people who protect these monsters instead of the innocents.

1-10 of 432 comments 12345 Last