Cheaters. Ugh. They're just so vile. So selfish. So deserving of a massive Twitter rant. But you shouldn't do it. Much as you want to. Airing your dirty laundry in a massively public way may feel good in the moment, but months or years down the road, all that vitriol will still be there for your friends, family, children, and yourself to see -- and yet you've (hopefully) moved on. The problem with the Internet is that it doesn't move on. One very angry wife is going to learn this lesson someday. I don't blame the woman, who goes by the name "VeeVee" and who is married to a Silicon Valley hotshot named Scott Jones, for being spitting mad. When VeeVee, who is apparently pregnant, found out the father of her four other kids was supposedly having an affair with a coworker -- well, you know what they say about hell hath no fury!
VeeVee went on a tear on Twitter. And on her blog. She scalded her husband in language that will stand the hair on your neck on end. According to VeeVee's many, many tweets (her account has since been disabled), she was pregnant with the couple's fifth child when she discovered the affair. The other woman is also married.
VeeVee posted pics of the other woman -- and even the other woman's husband -- and went ape. Some examples:
- Ruff ruff. Wonder if your husband knows? That you blow your boss? And then kiss him afterwards? You're trifling good for nothing.
- Goddamnit she's so ugly it makes me feel ugly lol
- While I'm pregnant with his 5th baby, named after him, to save our marriage. He screws that ugly dog :-/ I'm so hurt & this is venting
- I think he has a sexual addiction. He's like a dog.
- What do you call a man marry a ghetto chic from Philly without a prenup & cheats on her? FUCKED That's what you should call him.
I feel for VeeVee. She's railing and with good cause.
But she gives no absolute proof that it's happening. We don't know his side of the story.
And why would you want your kids to see all of this stuff online?
It's really, really difficult not to want to share it with the world when someone has hurt you. As someone who wrote a memoir about a breakup, believe me, I know. But I also didn't reveal my ex's name or face. I even showed the book to him before it was published and told him he could make changes. There's a long history of heartbreak in art, be it poems, books, movies, or songs, so I'm not suggesting that it not be the basis for a cathartic outpouring. (Taylor Swift wouldn't be in business otherwise.)
But the Internet is not art.
Raw emotions unfiltered and uncensored and thrown up on Twitter or your personal blog can never be totally erased -- even if you erase them. Unfortunately stuff like this makes the cheated-on party look worse than the cheater. In fact, according to one of VeeVee's tweets, her husband and his supposed mistress were filing harassment charges against her. See? Now she's the one in trouble! Ugh.
It would be nice if we had laws against cheating, wouldn't it? Then the cheater could do a little time in jail and you'd get some satisfaction without having to take your pain to the masses. Yet adultery isn't illegal (at least in most states) and no-fault divorce means cheaters don't ever get punished in court either. But if it's true that VeeVee doesn't have a pre-nup, hopefully she can take him to the cleaners.
Sigh. How to punish them? How to hurt them back? You can't really. It sucks. At the end of the day, you have to trust karma will get them. Or you can write a song. Maybe it becomes a big hit, you make a lot of money, and then you buy the building your ex lives in and toss him on the street.
Is there an acceptable way to get back at a cheat?
Image via denharsh/Flickr