death rayCitizens of Metropolis, we have been saved from two nefarious supervillans. According to police, a Ku Klux Klansman was building a death ray with his buddy to kill Muslims and -- wait, is this the news? I feel like I'm living in a comic book. Seriously, the KKK, and a death ray? A DEATH RAY?!? Do those things even exist in real life? 

Give me a moment here while I pound my forehead gently against my desk a few times.

Okay, I'm back. So here are the details: Klansman Glen Crawford and sidekick Eric Feight are accused of building a "deadly radiation-emitting device" to attack a Muslim group, a political organization, and a political figure (New York Governor Andrew Cuomo). And I guess they sort of knew what they were doing since Crawford is a GE industrial mechanic and Feight is a computer software expert. The idea was to build a device that would "covertly omit ionizing radiation strong enough to bring about radiation sickness or death against Crawford’s enemies” as they slept.

The ray would be operated from the back of a van because of course it would be. They liked to call it "Hiroshima on a light switch."

Killing people with radiation sickness while they sleep! Why its... its... its diabolical, that's what it is. And absurd. And completely inefficient. What the hell? I don't want to tell evildoers how to do their job, but there are much simpler ways to kill people. This is too elaborate. I have to wonder where their priorities are. Is this really about destroying Crawford's "enemies" or are these just two overgrown teenagers who will use any excuse to pursue their dream of building a death ray just like the ones they've been obsessing over since they were 13?

Anyway, the Feds say no one was ever in any real danger. Oh my God, well thank goodness for that. I suspect Crawford and Feight were mostly just a danger to themselves.

Do you think Crawford and Feight could have been successful in their plans if they hadn't gotten caught?

 

Image via Gavin Mackintosh/Flickr