Joran van der Sloot Is Getting Married & His Bride Is In for a Big Surprise

joran van der slootWe've officially seen it all: Joran van der Sloot is getting married. Yes, that Joran van der Sloot. The Joran van der Sloot who is a suspect in Natalee Holloway's disappearance. The Joran van der Sloot who's currently serving a 28-year sentence for the murder of Peruvian college student Stephany Flores. The Joran van der Sloot who was charged with attempting to extort $250,000 from Natalee's mother, Beth, in exchange for the exact location and details of her daughter's death. (Note: Beth gave Joran $25,000 as a down payment, and he took the money and traveled to Peru to play in a poker tournament.)

Yep. This guy's found a bride.


According to The Daily Beast, the woman Joran is marrying is Leydi Figueroa Uced, a 22-year-old Peruvian who regularly visits van der Sloot in prison. The two have been thought to be in a relationship for some time now, and it's been widely reported that they have a son together, who was conceived while he was in jail.

But what I want to know is: Who on earth would marry Joran van der Sloot? He's a literal (convicted) lady killer.

According to Maximo Altez, van der Sloot's lawyer, who also happens to be his best man/only person attending the wedding, van der Sloot is trying to change his, um, ways. "He wants to marry, change his life, start a new life," Altez said. And apparently, Uced is going to help him do that.

While I'm all for love and happiness and marriage, this is just a bad idea. I'm not sure what Uced thinks she's going to get out of this relationship with van der Sloot, but I think it's safe to say that whatever it is, it's not going to happen. Joran is a convicted murderer and a suspect in one of the most highly-reported disappearances of all time. Marriage isn't going to change him or make him a better man. It's sad Uced can't see that.

But I guess it's at least good that Joran's still locked up and will be for a long time. He shouldn't be around any women -- not even his wife.

What do you think of this?

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