Did you hear? New Pope Francis performed an exorcism! Sorta. After Sunday mass at St. Peter's Square, the Pope laid his hands on a young man in a wheelchair. The man then apparently "heaved deeply a half dozen times, shook, then slumped in his wheelchair" through the Pope's blessing. Great Beelzebub! It was like Francis was wrenching an evil spirit out of that young man's body. Or, maybe the guy just has a condition that causes him to lurch involuntarily. You decide -- but I think we all know which story is going to nab headlines.
In a statement, the Vatican was kinda cagey about what really happened. They say the Pope "didn't intend to perform any exorcism. But as he often does for the sick or suffering, he simply intended to pray for someone who was suffering who was presented to him." So they're not saying it was an exorcism, but they're not saying it wasn't, either.
I mean, if someone with an evil spirit comes along, and the Pope just happens to be there, and just happens to give the afflicted a blessing, and the evil spirit leaves, well ... let's just say it's all in a good day's work for Francis. The Devil is a real thing to him, and he'd really like to get that guy.
Full disclosure, I don't believe in any of that stuff. But -- I do love a fun story, and I think it would be fantastic (in every sense of the word) if the Pope really did start going around performing exorcisms, real or not. You know, like real 1970s horror movie kinds of stuff. Forget modest, quiet laying on of hands. Let's get some light shows! Let's get some heads spinning! Let's see some projectile vomiting! I want to hear screaming, winds howling, and "I command thee!"
There's some phenomenal drama just waiting to happen here that would really shake up the people. I'm just saying -- the Vatican needs to consider this PR opportunity. But it probably won't happen because Pope Francis is not into flash. Gah! Oh religion, you're just never quite as much fun as you could be.
Do you believe in exorcisms?
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