kate middeltonWhen Kate Middleton's official portrait was unveiled in January, most everyone was taken aback by its rottenness. The artist made the Duchess look 53, when she's only 31. Her eyes were made to look beady, her chin was enlarged, and her mouth was drawn in a tight, unhappy line. No one likes it. (Well, Kate and Wills said they were thrilled with the painting, but they're obviously just being polite.)

Now, there's a new portrait. It wasn't commissioned by the Palace or anything, but painter Yves Messer was so appalled by the first attempt, he just had to do one himself. Messer's had his work shown all over the world -- certainly he could do the Duchess justice, right?

Wrong.

Messer's painting is better than the official portrait, but it's still pretty terrible. First of all, why did he choose to immortalize those bangs of hers, and second of all, why does she look like a chubby boy with a wig on?

The Duchess is graceful and beautiful and here she looks frumpy and disinterested. Her facial expression makes me think she's about to say, "Yeah, I mean, I've had a rough day. I could go for some tacos if you want. Whatever."

And I know the British aren't especially praised for their dental care, but why not paint Kate with a smile on her face? She has a great smile! It's warm, inviting, and full of life.

I'm just starting to feel a little bad for KMids. Why can't anyone paint a flattering portrait? Is it that hard?

It must be. Because this second attempt, although better than the first, is still god-awful. Poor thing.

What do you think of this new portrait?

 

Photo via UK repsome/Flickr