Mom Divorces Man Who Molested Her Daughter & Now She Owes Him Alimony!

Twisted 91

ed abarUsually alimony claims are pretty cut and dried. A judge said you have to pay, so you have to pay. But a California mom fighting for the right not to pay her ex-husband spousal support has one heckuva case. Carol Abar divorced Ed Abar because he'd been raping her daughter, his stepdaughter, since the girl was just 9 years old.

Can you blame her for not wanting to send him a check every month? It's like handing him an award for abusing her child.

The twisted case is working its way through the courts where Ed Abar is asking a judge to force Carol to resume $1,300-a-month alimony payments she was making before he pleaded guilty last year to one count of rape (he was facing additional charges but pleaded down to avoid a harsher sentence). He even wants back support for the time period when he was in jail -- when a judge gave her permission to stop the checks. 

What will happen is up to a judge, but it's sure to have repercussions for other divorce cases in the state, if not the nation. 

Should criminal activity in the marriage make spousal support null and void? Should criminals be due money from their spouse simply because she (in this case) earned more during the marriage?

Traditionally, judges in family court look into claims of domestic abuse in marriages when determining alimony, but that hardly seems like enough. A rape of a child is beyond the pale and clearly impacts her mother.

In the Abars' case, it's why Carol says she filed for divorce. It took her 16 years to kick him to the curb because Ed Abar threatened the girl that he'd kill her mother and stepbrothers if she told on him, but as soon as Carol found out, she did what any mother would do: she got the sicko out of her house ASAP. How unfair is it that being a good mother is being held against her? That she's being punished when it was he who destroyed her family?

Cases don't even have to be this heinous. Surely when a spouse turns out to be a crack dealer or something equally illegal and harmful to a family, the responsible spouse who leaves to escape criminal activity should be given a chance to truly break free.

These cases can't be allowed to happen. Victims shouldn't be re-victimized because the law is inflexible.

Do you think Carol should have to pay? Where should judges draw the line?


child abuse, crime


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LostS... LostSoul88

WTF!? I hope she fights and wins! 

nonmember avatar kaerae

The judge in the rape case could order restitution to the girl in the exact amount, which would cancel out the ridiculous alimony without having to wait for the ridiculous law to change.

nonmember avatar blh

Alimony shouldn't even be a thing unless one parent gave up a career to raise the kids or something. What kind of pathetic ass man would let a woman support him anyways?

Jennifer Miller

HELL NO! he deserves to be in jail for the rest of his life. She shouldn't have to pay him a penny. he needs to have his sh$# cut off. that little girl is ruined for the rest of her life. I hope Carol wins and don't have to pay him.

Laurie Norris

she should not have to pay him anything he should be behind bars for raping the girl

Omega Brown Cpht

No she should not have to pay him one red penny!! This is so crazy that a judge would make her!!

Rebecca Mardis

No I do not think she should have to pay him anything it should be the other way around he should pay her so she can get her daughter help because of all the things done to her

Megan Button

Wow I can't even believe there is a judge out there willing to be so sleezy and grant that man alimony after he has pleaded guilty to rape and was in jail. That is just beyond me. Apparently that judge needs to resign or be forced too. I wouldn't want a judge with absolutely no morals to be on any of my cases (if i were to ever be in any) Makes me sick just thinking that this is even of for negotiation and that she had to pay him money at all.

Kim M Doxtator Watson

Not no but, HELL NO!!!! Sick bastard should thank her for not killing him! & The judge, do not make her pay, it's like he's getting paid for being the sick pig that he is! If the judge makes her pay, she should make the sicko pay for that childs therapy, that she's going to need for a long time! Been there done that!!!

Darla Bomar Robertson

No Judge should ever do such a thing, how is that teaching this pervert a lesson, he should be in Jail let him get his comasary no allamony.

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