How amazing to wake up this morning to some good news for a change! Three Cleveland women who went missing 10 years ago finally escaped. Can you imagine what it must have been like for Charles Ramsey, the neighbor who found Amanda Berry calling for help? He heard her screaming from a window and helped her break free. Well, wonder no longer. Charles has been giving interviews and talking about his shock upon learning that his next-door neighbor was keeping three women (and apparently a girl?) prisoner in his house all this time.
First of all, he had no idea that the woman he was rescuing was someone who had gone missing for 10 years. "I thought this girl was dead!" he later said when it he figured it out. He thought she was just escaping some sort of domestic abuse situation. Amanda told the police there were other women, but Charles was still floored when he saw how many women police rescued from the house. But the biggest shock was just knowing all of this was going on next door and he never had a clue.
You got some big testicles to pull this off, bro. Because we see this guy every day. EVERY DAY! ... I barbecue with this guy. We eat ribs and what not, and listen to Salsa music ... NOT A CLUE.
Okay, I'm sure when he says his neighbor must have big balls, he doesn't mean it as a compliment. But it doesn't get more normal and neighborly than eating ribs with your neighbor, does it? I mean, he really paints a picture there with the barbecue and the music.
Kind of makes a person wonder about their own neighbors. Sure, I might chat with the guy downstairs about his cats. BUT WHAT IS HE FEEDING THE CATS? What if he's a serial killer?!? And I have no idea. Okay, back to Charles. Here's the moment when he knew this was not just a case of ordinary domestic abuse.
I knew something was wrong when a little pretty white girl ran into a black man's arms. Something is wrong here. Dead giveaway. Dead giveaway. Either she's homeless or she's got problems. That's the only reason.
D'oh! Uncomfortable truth about race relations in America. Notice how the reporter tries to cut him off -- like, "yeah, Charles, polite people don't point that stuff out." Hilarious. Good for Charles for saying it like it is. Anyway, naturally Charles' interview is already a meme and yes there's an autotune version already. Because this is America, where pretty white little girls don't usually run into the arms of black men, but where we do appreciate a skilled story teller.
And now in autotune:
Do you ever wonder what your neighbors are really up to?
Image via WEWSTV/YouTube