Jay-Z and Beyonce were not at the White House Correspondents' Dinner last night (and neither was Lindsay Lohan so simmer down, Tom Brokaw), but that doesn't mean there's nothing fun to report. Come for the jokes. Stay for the jokes, people. President Obama and host Conan O'Brien brought lots of chuckles last night with their joke lineups, one the best being the hilarity of Obama's fashion bangs. LOL!
Here are the funniest jokes you missed if you didn't tune in last night (and seriously, who did?).
Best of President Obama's jokes:
After walking in to Rapper DJ Khaled's "All I Do is Win," Obama joked, "How do you like my new entrance music? Rush Limbaugh warned you about this. Second term, baby!"
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After talking about the First Lady Michelle Obama's favorable ratings in the polls and her great sense of style, he said,"These days I look in the mirror, and I have to admit I'm not the strapping young Muslim Socialist that I used to be."
Then came the jokes about trying some of Michelle's tricks -- bangs! LOLOLOL!
“I’ve got 99 problems and now Jay-Z’s one of them," Obama remarked regarding the whole Beyonce and Jay-Z in Cuba vacation controversy.
“Maureen Dowd said I could solve all of my problems if I was just more like Michael Douglass in ‘The American President.’ I know Michael’s here tonight. Michael, what’s your secret? Could it be that you were an actor in an Aaron Sorkin liberal fantasy?”
Then came a few of the best rips on the press.
"I know CNN has taken some knocks lately but the fact is, I admire their commitment to covering all sides of the story, just in case one of them happens to be accurate.”
“David Axelrod now works for MSNBC, which is a nice change of pace, since MSNBC used to work for David Axelrod.”
“The History Channel is not here…guess they were embarrassed about the whole ‘Obama is a devil‘ thing.” Of course, that's never kept FOX News from showing up. They actually thought the comparison was not fair ... to Satan."
Nice shoutout to BuzzFeed. “I remember when BuzzFeed was something I did in college around 2 A.M.”
This one was hilarious! "Do you remember a few months ago?" the President asked. "My administration put out a photo of me going skeet shooting at Camp David. Quite a number of people insisted that this had been Photoshopped... You were right. Can we show them the actual photo? We were just trying to tone it down a little bit."
Here's the photo:
“My job is to be president. [The media's] job is to keep me humble. Frankly, I think I’m doing my job better."
Here's the President Obama's full monologue if you'd like to watch:
And here's all of Conan O'Brien's lineup for your viewing pleasure:
Did you actually tune in for the White House Correspondents' Dinner 2013? If so, what the heck's a C-SPAN (kidding!)?
Image via C-SPAN