Why am I not surprised to hear Amanda Knox finds herself sometimes "paralyzed" with anxiety? Good lord, how could a girl survive being (wrongly) convicted of her roommate's murder and serving 4 years in a foreign prison before having that conviction overturned NOT end up with a lifelong case of the jitters?! As Knox recently explained to People magazine:
"Things creep up on me and all of a sudden I'm overwhelmed by the feeling of helplessness and that desperation and fear to even hope ... just that can make my heart race and makes me paralyzed until I can breathe it away."
The fear even to hope. A heartbreaking statement, particularly coming from a 25-year-old who spent a major chunk of her young adulthood alone in a cell "which was cold in the winter and hot in the summer," allowed outdoors only one hour a day. I can only imagine the panic Knox must have felt when an Italian court ordered that her case be retried.
Thankfully Italian law can't force Knox to return for the trial (a spokesperson for the family says it's "doubtful" she'll go back -- ya think?!). Still, when she heard about the court's decision to overturn her acquital it must have felt like one of her many nightmares was actually coming true.
Make no mistake, her time in prison was miserable. In her upcoming memoir "Waiting to Be Heard" (due out April 30), Knox admits that she eventually became suicidal and considered "swallowing shards of glass or suffocating herself with a garbage bag."
I guess sometimes feeling paralyzed with anxiety is an improvement on wanting to swallow shards of glass. Still, it's a long way from feeling free.
Do you think Amanda Knox will ever feel "normal" again?
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