Here's a story we'll want to include in our civilization's time capsule: a man walked into a Home Depot in the Los Angeles suburbs on Wednesday, picked up a hand saw, and deliberately started cutting off his arms. Horrified shoppers called 911, and by the time the first-responders arrived, he'd sawed to the bone and had passed out from the blood loss.
Onlookers say he headed right for the tool aisle, browsed a bit, then picked up small saws, including one to cut through sheet rock, and began going at his limbs.
Luckily, there was an off-duty paramedic at the store who helped the EMTs make a tourniquet out of twine and cloth. That's the power of Home Depot, I guess. Ba dum.
The arm-sawer was taken to the hospital and underwent surgery. Authorities say his condition is unknown, but please, I mean, his condition is crazy. Or high on bath salts. Or depressed.
Unfortunately, this isn't the first gruesome, straight-out-of-a-horror-movie instance that's happened in recent memory.
Back in May, 2012, a naked man ate another man's face in Miami. He didn't even stop eating when the cops started to shoot him! Then there was a middle-aged woman who attacked her mother with a machete, a teenage dude who dressed up in a bra and underwear and killed his neighbor's goat, and a 20-year-old man who bludgeoned his 77-year-old female neighbor.
Way to go, us. We're really crushing it at this whole society thing. What's next, Cookie Monster hurting kids? Oh, wait. Don't answer that.
Photo via ansik/Flickr