I thought I was having a bad day until I read about Gregory Dale Lanier, 35, of Frostproof, Florida. Suddenly, the fact that I'd stepped in dog crap on the way to work didn't seem so bad. In fact, it became a downright friendly exchange with a canine compared to Lanier's. His dog shot him. That's right, Lanier's dog shot him in the goddamn leg.
There was a loaded 9mm gun on the floor of the passenger seat in his pickup truck, and when the dog kicked it, the pistol fired and shot Lanier in the thigh. He said he heard a boom, saw smoke, and felt a burning in his leg -- all signs, evidently, that his pooch had taken revenge.
The dog as not been arrested, nor detained, nor asked to make a public apology for his careless actions. You see, guns don't hurt people, dogs do, and it's a shame there are no consequences for "man's best friend."
Believe it or not, though, this isn't the first case of a dog getting pawsy with a handgun. Just this past September, a Frenchman's dog jumped on him as if to give him hug, accidentally hit the trigger of the gun in the owner's pocket, and yada yada yada, his hand had to be amputated.
And in 2011, a dog shot his owner in the ass when the two were duck hunting. The loaded rifle went off when the pup bounced up and down on the bow of the boat, where the gun had been rested.
Lest you think only the canines cause trouble, in 2005, a cat shot its owner in the kitchen while preparing dinner. Guess he wasn't happy with what was being served.
Lanier's walking away from the accident without any serious injuries, but if I were you, I'd keep an eye on that pet of yours. Or, you know, that gun of yours.
Photo via dutchmasterdutchie/Flickr