Latest Pope Scandal Details Make the Vatican Sound Like Sin City

OMG 32

popeStrange things are afoot at the Vatican, dude. Even stranger than we thought! I mean, it was weird enough when the Pope resigned in the first place (the first Pontiff to quit in 600 years! I didn't know Popes were even allowed to DO that!), but, you know, since the man is 148 years old (fine, 85), I think we all kind of figured, "Oh well. He's tired."

A plausible excuse. But tired of what, exactly? As the papal plot thickens, we're learning that Benedict XVI's resignation just so happened to come shortly after he received the results (300 pages worth!) of an investigation revealing "blackmail, corruption, and gay sex at the Vatican."

Hold UP, yo.

Does that mean the Pope resigned because he's been covering up for this Sacred Sextravaganza all along and doesn't want to face the choir music? Or does it mean that the Pope knew nothing (or not much) about the scandalous goings-on (because he's really, really OLD) and quit because he didn't want to be stuck cleaning up a mess he didn't make?

And where exactly does the whole sombrero incident fit into this story? Did the Pope ever really bump his head in Mexico?

In all seriousness, though, there are some crazy allegations of the Commandment-breaking kind in this report -- which, by the way, is apparently "bound in red leather" and "being kept in a safe in the pope's Vatican quarters." (You can't make this stuff up, I swear.) It took a panel of three cardinals months to compile the massive document, which consists of "dozens and dozens of interviews with bishops, cardinals, and lay people." We're talking a full-on "underground gay network whose members organized sexual meetings in several locations, including a villa outside Rome, a sauna in Rome's Cuarto Miligo district, and even in a beauty salon inside the Vatican." And god -- whoops, I mean God! -- only knows what else those pages reveal.

Maybe they'll end up being the next bestseller. (Fifty Shades of Catholic, perhaps!)

Do you think the Pope resigned because he was covering up the scandal or do you think he really didn't know about what was going on?


Image via Sergey Gabdurakhmanov/Flickr

scandal, religion, in the news

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kelti... kelticmom

I have no idea what to think about this alleged scandal, but I find your entire tone in this article and your flippant comments about the pope to be irreverent, uncalled for and in incredibly bad taste. And I'm not even Catholic!

ASouza77 ASouza77

Kelticmom: I agree with you completely.

nonmember avatar Carolina

I completely agree with you Kelticmom. I AM catholic and i am upset at the some of your comments and the tone that you are using. Lets get our facts straight before offending peoples beliefs and relegion here.

nonmember avatar Stella

Sorry, Kelticmom, but something rotten is afoot. I agree with the author that there's much more to the story than we're hearing, which is par for the course with the Catholic church, I'm afraid.

nonmember avatar Stella

And P.S.: I AM Catholic!

kelti... kelticmom

I agree that they need to get to the bottom of this mess, but what I have a problem with is the disrespectful and immature way the author is talking about the church, the pope, the Vatican and God. Especially the "god----whoops, God!" comment. I find her tone offensive.

zombi... zombiemommy916

Yes...Catholic here...and offended by the tone..."Fifty Shades of Catholic"?!?! Seriously??

wamom223 wamom223

Its the 'Fifty Shades of Catholic' part that I found offensive.

Coles... Coles_mom

I lol'ed at the title with "sin city" in it. :)

bills... billsfan1104

Whatever Jackie. You writing this article as flippant and rude and degrading to the church just shows what type of person you are. And for the record, next time someone makes fun of a Muslim, you better not come on here and write an article about how rude it was.

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