A would-be judge in Indonesia has earned the ire of people across the world with his incendiary and incredibly misguided comments about rape. Daming Sanusi, a candidate for the Indonesian Supreme Court, isn't the first person in the world to make insane comments about rape. He is just the latest. This time, he said that rape victims enjoy being raped every bit as much as their rapists enjoy doing it.
Unbelievable, right? And after the horrific gang rape in India that caused international outrage, it seems especially egregious. Does anyone really think that poor woman "enjoyed" having her intestines ripped apart by a metal rod and being thrown from a moving bus? Because I sure don't.
It may seem like this is unique to developing countries. But it isn't. Between the Indian rape, the horrific boys in Steubenville, the comments by Todd Akin about "legitimate rape," and Richard Mourdock's "rape pregnancies are awesome" comment, I am doubting ALL men.
Memo to men across the world (who clearly need it): Rape is a violation. It's never OK. Pregnancies that result from rape are further violations. No woman "enjoys" being forced to perform sexual acts against their will.
I am not a woman who thinks all men are would-be rapists, it's true. But the number of men, this year especially, who have come out and shown that they have no understanding of rape is astounding. I never would have said that rape is something only a woman can get. But is it? Can men not understand the unbelievable violation of rape? Can they not get the way it destroys lives?
Maybe they can't.
Because there is simply no other explanation for the sheer number of asinine, crazy, over-the-top comments that have been made lately. By men. About rape. It's just too much.
Those boys clearly have a lot to learn about women. About sex. About violation and what it does to the soul. As a woman, I have had the unfortunate "privilege" of knowing many, many victims of rape. Some have been violent. Some have been drugged. Some have been questionable sexual encounters that a woman wasn't sure whether to call it rape -- "I said no, but I was so drunk, I may not have said it loudly enough." These are real events. Each and every person I know who has been violated this way is scarred by it. It doesn't just go away. She doesn't "enjoy" it.
Until men can get it clear that rape is rape and it's a violent crime, not one of sex, but of power and domination, then maybe they aren't fit to run for office.
It scares me to have people so lacking in empathy anywhere near a legislating or judicial body.
Do these comments make you irate, too?
Image via bloomsberries/Flickr