Video Showing Teens Joking About Rape Makes Me Worried About Raising a Boy (VIDEO)

Steubenville rapeIn Steubenville, Ohio, football is king and football players think they can do whatever they want. Nowhere is this more evidenced than in the recently leaked "anonymous" video showing a group of Steubenville jocks joking about the rape of a fellow teenager.

The girl, apparently from a neighboring town, was passed out at a party and violated by a group of boys. The video showing the boys joking about the rape was released by KnightSec, part of a hacker group that specifically targets rapists. The video apparently shows a teenage boy -- a former Steubenville High baseball team member -- joking about the assault.

Warning: The video below is extremely disturbing. It will make you lose faith in humanity and particularly in the boy branch of humanity. It's truly upsetting and you should know that before watching.

In it, the boy jokes: "She is so raped." He says: "They raped her quicker than Mike Tyson!" and "they raped her more than the Duke lacrosse team!"

While some people say things like, "What if it was your daughter?" the responses are chilling. "It wasn't." Or, "She would be dead, too."

The story is complicated and started in August when the rape allegedly happened. At the time, the boys took photos of the girl while naked among other violations. All of it went viral thanks to social media, and the case has truly divided the town of Steubenville, a place where Friday Night Lights isn't just a TV show.

How do boys get like this? It's obvious. They receive entitlements. They are treated like Gods and exalted as kings. No one ever teaches them respect for women and they grow up thinking they own the world. I grew up in a town like this and these jock boys are given free reign over everything. In a town where football rules all, those who play well can pretty much get away with anything. Including rape.

As a parent, it scares me to have a boy. How does one raise a boy that ISN'T like this? How does one raise a boy who will respect women and their bodies and not make horrific jokes like this?

We mothers of boys have a huge responsibility. It isn't easy to raise a man of character and courage and feeling in a world that basically expects boys to act like meat heads and not care about anyone. If this video hadn't been leaked, would these boys have ever paid for their crimes? Or would these jokes remain unpunished?

Can a boy ever really know what it's like to be a female in this world who has to constantly be afraid? I look at my son now, so innocent and sweet, so loving and precious. And I worry about how he will grow up in this world that expects him to tuck those feelings away and to see women as less than.

We can pretend it all away and say it isn't like that. But then we are faced with a video like this. This is what can happen to boys who aren't loved well and not taught right. Whatever the parents of these boys did, I want to do the complete and total opposite.

We all should want to.

Can boys like this even be rehabilitated? What did you think of this video?


Image via YouTube

women's issues, football, crime


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nonmember avatar Lilia

Losers wouldn't it be great if they got raped? Then their rapists could release a video of how funny it was that they got raped?! Hilarious...rape it's so funny! It's even sadder that most of them have the high pitched voices of prepubescents.

BPayne09 BPayne09

Bunch of douche bag kids. I couldn't even watch it. If I ever found out my son was saying anything even remotely like this I'd beat the crap out of him and he'd never leave the house.

LeeshaE LeeshaE

If that were my child I wouldmake him watch Deliverance to realize this a human not a women's issue then I would enroll him in a Woman's history class at the local college to teach him some damn sensitivity

nonmember avatar kaerae

A screening of American History X would be better than Deliverance.

Flori... Floridamom96

This is one of the most messed up blogs I have ever read. Not only is the behavior of the boys appalling your response is damn near as disturbing. I find it alarming that you view all females as victims and all males as rapists unless you can find a way to change that outcome.

Jacobet Jacobet

Sasha I am completely offended by this part of your statement "The video below is extremely disturbing. It will make you lose faith in humanity and particularly in the Midwestern boy branch of humanity." I am raising a Midwestern boy. Just because these boys happen to be from the Midwest doesn't give you the right to say we should worry particularly about Midwest boys. You could have left that statement out, it had no relevance to what the story is about.

wamom223 wamom223

The answer is simple and that is that you actually participate in raising your son and not cringe at teaching him  to be a gentleman.  My son is four and already is expected to respect women and treat them like ladies.  If he is on a play date with a girl I expect him to let her walk through doors first, I expect him to open doors for her and in a limited capacity protect her (yes, if a bigger boy is bullying her in the McDonald's tube I want him to defend her and then inform an adult.)  I have received text messages from friends gushing as they thank me for raising my son to be a gentleman and we will continue his training until we think the work is done.  We will have honest conversations with him about the ugliness of the world and what we expect from him in difficult situations.  Not only will I be brave enough to talk to my son about rape (so he understands exactly what it means so there is absolutely no confusion as some boys seem to have) but I will also explain to him that it will be his responsibility to report it if he were to here anyone bragging about it.  I'm not scared to raise a son in this world  but I wont lie and say I'm not scared of the son's others are raising.

Anony... AnonyMOUSE715

aww wamom that is so sweet! your son sounds like one nice lil gentlemen

nonmember avatar Emily

Sasha, I hope with ALL sincerity that your daughter falls madly in love with and marries a boy from the mid west. I hope that this boy treats her like a queen and you can see that anyone can come from anywhere (and might I add from any circumstances ) and be a good decent, law abiding, loving caring human being.

As for raising a son. I have three daughters and one boy, and my boy is far and wide my most challenging child. Not because behaviorally he's different, but because he's a boy. BUT at the end of the day, I am his mom. He learns how to treat women by learning how to treat me and his sisters. I teach him how to treat me. I do expect him to be kind, and caring and loving. I expect him to be gentle. If he's not those things there's consequences and he gets in trouble until he learns how to treat not just girls but everyone.

I live in a very homophobic culture as well. I have people telling me all the time my son will turn out to be gay. This infuriates me - to no end. It's attitudes like that ALL OVER THE COUNTRY that cause behaviors like the one in the video. The need to have a macho boy, a tough boy, an alpha male boy and grooming sons to be those things is what causes the sick conversations like the one above. It has nothing to do with the region. It has everything to do with the raising.

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