Bigfoot Captured for Real & This Kinda Sorta Changes EVERYTHING

bigfootIf you're to believe the Mid-America Bigfoot Research Center, there is HUGE news developing as I type. Apparently, Bigfoot has been captured. Or, as their code words describe, "Daisy is in the box." There's speculation that in 72 hours time, they'll know more, but all we know now is that Daisy was moved 12 miles from the undisclosed capture site to an undisclosed examination area after being thoroughly sedated. Data regarding Daisy's height, weight, hair color, and, you know, general realness still hasn't been released, but a member of MABRC is optimistic that a statement to the press is imminent.

Bigfoot is behind bars, you guys. Is this really happening?

I mean, I'd be shocked, as would the entire world, if I saw Brian Williams standing outside of Bigfoot's cage reporting on this. It would change everything. Magic would be real. Crazy people would be right. But, I don't know, I guess stranger things have happened.

I'm not sure what, exactly, those stranger things might have been, but I'm sure, maybe, somewhere, they happened.

Anyway, tons of discredited scientists have claimed for a while now that 2013 would be the year Bigfoot was captured, and on the second day of January, their prediction has apparently come true.

Listen, I want Bigfoot to be real as much as the next guy, but I want Bigfoot to be real on his own terms. He belongs at campsites surrounded by people with shitty cellphone cameras; he belongs in the forest hunted by professionals with, surprisingly, and yet again, shitty cellphone cameras; and he belongs roaming along the highways encountering drivers with, SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WITH EVERYONE HAVING SHITTY CELLPHONE CAMERAS.

I guess we just have to hold tight to see if the MABRC is right. But if it were up to me, I'd release the beast. Free Daisy!

Do you think Bigfoot was actually captured?

 

Photo via freeloosedirt/Flickr

in the news, animals

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nonmember avatar Tonya

Oh, please, please, please!!!! :) I have always really wanted to believe in Bigfoot, and I have hoped that proof would come in my lifetime. It does seem logical that if one were really captured, the news would be released immediately, though.

cmjaz cmjaz

I hope they get their proof and then let it go. But if its real, there's no way they'd let it go.

Rebec... Rebecca7708

*If* it's real, I feel bad for the poor creature. The rest of it's life will be spent in captivity, enduring what I'm sure will be horrific medical experiments. It's kinda sad.

Doomy234 Doomy234

I'd like to see it... And then I hope they set it free. Who knows how rare they might be, just let it live in its natural habitat. For the most part you never hear about sasquatches hurting anybody... Just leave it be.

Jespren Jespren

Everything from black swans to gorillas were mocked by the 'respectable' scientific community until a body was brought to them. If bigfoot does exist (which I find unlikely but fully possible) the only thing which will convince the public at large will be a body.

NewMo... NewMomma.S

I sure hope this is real. I grew up in the heart of Bigfoot country and I'd love to not be a freak anymore for believing in the beast. But I agree, let it live its life in the wild not in captivity.

pitti... pittiesmom

This is insane. If it's real, let her go. The Native Americans had it right, living in peace with the beasts. Bigfoot has never hurt anyone and I'm sure if it's a previously undiscovered humanoid ape that it has a family group.

pitti... pittiesmom

Oh geez, sorry guys! my phone fritzed out on me :(

Happy... Happydad73

They are taking her to area 51. To be inspectwd by aliens. While Elvis watches. From the fifth dimension. From Illuminati's head quarters. Sounds official to me.

nonmember avatar @happydad72

Rotfl wish i could like ur comment haha

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