Adam Lanza's Mother Nancy Was Every Bit the Victim in Newtown Tragedy

Heartbreaking 119

Nancy LanzaWhen we see the reports out of Newtown, Connecticut, we keep seeing the number 26. Twenty-six killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School by Adam Lanza. Twenty-six Christmas trees donated to the town to be decorated in memory of the children and school staff. Twenty-six acts of kindnesses suggested to remember the victims. But whatever happened to number 27? To Nancy Lanza?

Adam Lanza's mother was not shot at Sandy Hook Elementary School. She is not one of the 26 ... there, anyway. But doesn't she count? Some will tell you no. Some ... many ... are angry at Nancy Lanza today, they're happy to blame one of the victims in this tragedy because it gives them comfort, it enables them to make "sense" of a senseless tragedy.

But we shouldn't be making ourselves comfortable today, at least not at the expense of a woman who was murdered in cold blood.

No one deserves to be murdered.

No one. 

Not a woman who may or may not have been careless with her guns. Not a woman whose son may or may not have been mentally ill.

No one.

Nancy Lanza was murdered on Friday morning by her own son, yes. Perhaps she saw something in him that made her wonder if he would one day combust. Perhaps not. She was, after all, Adam Lanza's mother, and in our kids we always seek to see the best even when all we can find is the worst.

But Nancy Lanza did not see this coming. If she did, let's face it, she would not be dead.

And more to the point, Nancy Lanza was not Adam Lanza. She did not start the massacre that would claim the lives of 27 innocent people.


That does not include the shooter. His life is the one that I strike from the list because Adam Lanza was the guilty party in this tragedy. He carted guns into an elementary school and shattered our hearts. He shot children. He killed children.

He was an adult man who chose to perpetrate one of the worst acts a person can. He did this.

Not his mother.

Nancy Lanza is a victim. She was murdered. She is gone. She leaves behind a distraught son (remember, Adam had a brother who was misidentified by the media as the killer?). She leaves behind other family members who are destroyed by this tragedy, by losing the woman they loved. She deserves to be mourned today too. 

Can you bring yourself to feel some compassion for a woman whose life ended all too soon? Will you mourn Nancy Lanza too?




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kelti... kelticmom

Thank You! She absolutely is a victim. I'm sure she, like many other mothers in this world, would NEVER have suspected that her son was capable of this. And to Monday morning quaterback her parenting choices, when she is dead, murdered by her own child, and not here to defend herself is reprehensible.

Alexis Eggleton

Thank you!


Sarah UsedtobeZech Cone

No one should make any assumptions or judgements until all the facts are out.IF he had a mental illness and she knew about it yet still kept assault weapons in her home then she is an accessory to this crime and I would find it very difficult to have any compassion for her.I would try, but it would be hard...but again no one should assume anything until we know all the facts...

bills... billsfan1104

Thank you much for posting this. I have been saying this from the beginning. It's ok to say 27 people murdered.

nonmember avatar Anon

I thought the number 26 included his mom, and the number 27 included him? That's why so many people are not counting 27, because they don't mourn his loss? Glad to see you have nice things to say about his mom. After yesterday's article you wrote about her, I was about to stop reading what you had to say.

Andi Dodd

Couldn't agree more!

nonmember avatar blue

I agree with this NOW. However, when more info comes out...that just might change. I can't excuse a woman keeping an assault rifle in a home with a mentally ill person. Does that change that she is a victim, now. However, she deserves part of the blame. I think there was more going on in that home. I seriously hope that I'm wrong about that.

Sarah UsedtobeZech Cone

I should specify...IF he had a mental illness that she knew about and he lived with her yet she still kept assault weapons in her home and or didn't make sure they were locked up away from him where he had absolutuely NO access to them....THAT would make her at least negligent.But yes, still a victim none the less. I still put those sweet babes and the suffering that their parents are going through as well as the teacher victims and their loved ones and the whole school first though. I feel sorry for her and what she felt in those last moments but that doesn't compare to what those kids felt, in my opinion...That being said, I don't hate her or want her to "burn". I hope she, along with the 20 kids and 6 other adults, can Rest in peace.

MamaH... MamaHasWings

Finally an article on here I agree with fully! There haven't been too many lately! Nancy Lanza is most definitely a victim... and while the other victims did not know Adam Lanza and it was a stranger who killed them, Nancy Lanza was murdered by her own child... her flesh and blood... the son she carried in her womb for 9 months, who she gave birth to and cared for for 20 years. Imagine the confusion, the betrayal, the pain she must have felt the few short moments before her son killed her. I feel so very sorry for her and I wish people would stop blaming her, regardless of whether she kept guns in her home or not. She did not put that gun in his hand. She did not pull the trigger... not when she was murdered, the 27 adults and children were murdered, or when her son took his own life. She is NOT to blame!

Doomy234 Doomy234

I agree fully, Jeanne! Thank you. Glad somebody finally said it. I will never consider her as anything more than a mother and a victim of a tragic crime. The ONLY exception would be if she literally handed her son the gun and told him to do it. Which would be hard to believe. See was shot in her sleep, wasnt she?

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