Here's a winner for you -- James R. Irivne, 41, of Palm Coast, Florida, has been arrested under suspicion of child neglect after he left a 10-month-old baby to be cared for by a pit bull while he went to the bar to drink. Irvine was watching his girlfriend's infant when he apparently made the decision to hand the reins over to the dog of the house, and head out for some beers. After he didn't return any of his girlfriend's calls, she left work to come home and find Irvine urinating on himself, trying to get back in the house.
Irvine told his girlfriend that it's not like the baby was alone, their pet pit bull was watching it! But what the police report reveals next is the real kicker.
Cops say the baby was found crying inside a room with the door shut, and that the pit bull was sitting right outside of it.
Aw. Even a cynic like me can see how sweet that is. That dog is probably a better and more vigilant caretaker than Irvine could ever hope to be, but, naturally, that's no excuse for leaving a baby home alone with a canine babysitter.
Also, I'm not really sure why people think like, Oh, no, I shouldn't bring a baby to bar, that's just plain old wrong, and then conclude the better option would be to leave them alone or, in this case, with a pet.
I hope this girlfriend dumps Irvine and takes her baby, and her awesome pit bull, somewhere else. I mean, as soon as your significant other wets himself and explains to you that, it's cool, man, the dog was watching your kid, I think it's time to reevaluate the relationship.
Irvine faces one charge of child neglect. The pit bull faces a lifetime of hugs and kisses. (Same with the baby.)
Can you believe this?
Photo via Flagler County Sheriff's Office