Hey, remember when we told you about that magazine for exorcists? (No? Well, there's a magazine. For exorcists.) At the time, it was kind of like, um, really? There are so many exorcists out there they need their own damned, I mean NOT damned, magazine? In this economy?! Right. But apparently the demon-busting biz really is booming these days, because now exorcists also have their very own hotline.
I know, I know. Exorcists having a hotline?! That's like the Pope having a Twitter -- oh, never mind. Fine. I guess it makes sense. I mean, I suppose if you think you need an exorcist for whatever reason, your situation probably qualifies as an "emergency." Like, you don't want to get somebody's voicemail when you're dealing with evil spirits. "Hello, um, I think my cat is possessed because her eyes are red and she's spitting pea soup and BLAAARGH!!!" Beep.
Of course, there's never been a 911 for such supernatural needs. Until now. Sadly, for us, it's a long-distance number.
Got the country code for Italy memorized? Because so far, the exorcist hotline exists only in Milan, where the number of exorcism-practicing priests has doubled over the past 15 years (conveniently). So who's calling this hotline?
"We get young and old, men and women, people with different levels of education, from school-leavers to graduates," says Milan's "chief exorcist" Monsignor Angelo Mascheroni. Monday through Friday between 2:30 p.m. and 5 p.m., "People in need can call and will be able to find a priest in the same area who doesn't have to travel too far," he adds.
Ah, the modern age. Even the Catholic Church feels like they have to keep up with technology. You know how it is, damned if you do, damned if you don't! AHAHAHA. Wake me up when we can send direct tweets to @exorcismhotline: #spinninghead
What would make you call an exorcist hotline?
Image via DaveBleasdale/Flickr