I don't know about you, but if my town issued a public health warning about a vampire on the loose, I'd be all, Hang on, lemme get all gussied up! Does he look like Alexander Skarsgard? So at first I didn't understand why the residents of a small Serbian village are reportedly freaking out over exactly that: A public health warning about a vampire on the loose. For real. No joke. I'm serious. Don't believe me? The actual mayor told everybody to put garlic in their windows and even more crosses in their homes than usual, all to ward off the terrible Sava Savanovic. Hmm. Sava Savanovic has kind of a sexy ring to it, don't you think?
I did. Until I found out what this Village Vamp looks like, supposedly. (Hint: He's no Askars, that's for damn sure.)
Yeah, not even close. This disappointment of an undead dude looks like your average, everyday crazy old bulbous-nosed perv. Who just happens to be wearing a throw rug and carrying a beer stein. Cripes, does he even sparkle in the sun?
As far as I can tell, he's got nothing going for him, not even a cool castle like Dracula: The reason why Sava is supposedly on the loose is because the old, ruined mill he lived in finally collapsed altogether, leaving him homeless (and, one would assume, kind of cranky).
Image via Matt Callow/Flickr