serbia vampireI don't know about you, but if my town issued a public health warning about a vampire on the loose, I'd be all, Hang on, lemme get all gussied up! Does he look like Alexander Skarsgard? So at first I didn't understand why the residents of a small Serbian village are reportedly freaking out over exactly that: A public health warning about a vampire on the loose. For real. No joke. I'm serious. Don't believe me? The actual mayor told everybody to put garlic in their windows and even more crosses in their homes than usual, all to ward off the terrible Sava Savanovic. Hmm. Sava Savanovic has kind of a sexy ring to it, don't you think?

I did. Until I found out what this Village Vamp looks like, supposedly. (Hint: He's no Askars, that's for damn sure.)

Yeah, not even close. This disappointment of an undead dude looks like your average, everyday crazy old bulbous-nosed perv. Who just happens to be wearing a throw rug and carrying a beer stein. Cripes, does he even sparkle in the sun?

As far as I can tell, he's got nothing going for him, not even a cool castle like Dracula: The reason why Sava is supposedly on the loose is because the old, ruined mill he lived in finally collapsed altogether, leaving him homeless (and, one would assume, kind of cranky).

No wonder villagers be gettin' crazy with the garlic. Said Mayor Miodrag Vujetic: "People are worried, everybody knows the legend of this vampire and the thought that he is now homeless and looking for somewhere else and possibly other victims is terrifying people. We are all frightened."
 
I'm frightened just thinking about it! Sheesh, can you imagine what the werewolves look like in that village?!
 
Does Sava Savanovic look like the kind of vampire you'd want to meet?
 

 

Image via Matt Callow/Flickr