I happen to love Thanksgiving, but there's no doubt it can get annoying with the right (wrong?) combination of people. Still, no matter that your husband will drive you nuts because he's watching the game instead of helping or your aunt is asking too many questions about your fertility, be thankful this holiday season for one thing: You were not invited to the cannibal cop's home for turkey day.
Gilberto Valle is the New York City cop arrested for plotting to cook over 100 women. He went into great detail about it over the Internet -- even talking about how he would rig up an apparatus to cook a woman over "slow heat" and "keep her alive as long as possible." He also mentioned how he'd have to break a woman's legs in order to stuff her into his oven. But it gets worse. Because allegedly the cannibal cop was cooking up some horrifically sick ideas for Thanksgiving dinner. This is one recipe you're not gonna find in Martha Stewart Living.
Valle is currently on trial for his cannibal plots -- which his defense team says were just "fantasy." No women were ever hurt, but allegedly Valle had illegally accessed a national database in order to compile personal information about dozens of women -- including where they lived. He even knew their weight and bra size! He was allegedly about to swoop down on "Victim 1" when the cops stepped in to foil him.
In court, it was alleged that Valle had some twisted T-day plans. He wrote to an unnamed co-sicko: "I'm planning on getting some girl meat ... this November ... for Thanksgiving." Ugggghhhhh, I don't even wanna know what he was planning for side dishes!
Valle was reportedly turned into police after his estranged wife saw some of his "fantasies" on the computer and not surprisingly got alarmed. She is believed to have fled the state with their baby. Can you imagine if he'd gone through with any of this -- and the wife sat down to this despicably evil Thanksgiving Day meal?!
I'm telling you, folks, burnt turkey and annoying aunts and drunk uncles are nothing to what a horror show Thanksgiving could be in some people's homes. So keep that in mind when you're slaving away for a bunch of folks you don't like that much anyway.
Can you believe this guy?!
Image via antonellomusina/Flickr