My candidate lost the presidential election last week. I supported Mitt Romney completely, and I know he would have led this nation well. His business acumen would’ve pulled us out of this craptastic economy that Obama has the nerve to call a recovery, and his leadership skills would have restored our role as the greatest country on the planet in the history of ever.
Here are the five stages of grief that many Romney supporters are in the process of going through. It was a tough loss guys. It’s going to take some time to get over it. Jay Carney won’t help. Just saying.
Stage 1: Denial I was at the Boston Convention Center the night of November 6. There were TVs and Romney sons everywhere, and a whole lot of staffers running around asking if the numbers coming in from Florida and Virginia could possibly be true. I stuck my fingers in my ears and ordered more wine. This can’t be happening, I thought to myself. We’re still going to win.
Stage 2: Anger That night, I watched Romney’s concession speech and I was mad at America. How could they vote for Liary-McLiar Pants instead of a principled, hard-working man that would put it all on the line for the good of the country? Please excuse my name-calling; I may still be a little miffed. Besides, if Obama doesn’t like being called a liar, maybe he should, oh, I don’t know … stop lying.
Stage 3: Bargaining I have a friend that said he feels like he’s in the third level of Inception, where they’re in the ice fortress place, and Eames turns to Cobb and says, “I really thought we had this one,” and then Cobb says he has to go another level down to go get Saito. Where is our option to go another level and save the campaign? It can’t be over -- just give us one more chance!
Stage 4: Depression So this is happening. Four. More. Years. Obamacare is here to stay. The most partisan president we’ve ever elected will nominate two to three new Supreme Court Justices. There are rumors that John “Swift Boat” Kerry may be our next Secretary of Defense. Companies aren’t hiring because they can’t afford to with all the restrictions and regulations Obama has imposed. What’s not to be depressed about?
Stage 5: Acceptance This too shall pass. Besides, who doesn’t like paying $5 a gallon for gasoline, or watching U.S. Ambassadors being murdered in Beghazi? Oh wait. I seem to be back to anger.
Fellow Republicans, take a deep breath and pass the wine. It’s going to be a bumpy four years.
Image via cletch/Flickr