Gen. David Petaeus and Paula Broadwell
Apparently if you get anywhere near the Gen. David Petraeus scandal, you get sucked into a seething vortex of high schoolish shenanigans and all-around draaamahhhh. It's beginning to look like a bunch of Real Housewives in government garb. First, we hear that Petraeus had an affair. But you knew it wasn't gonna end there, because affairs are usually a messy, whiny business. Unless you're French.

Then we learn that Petraeus's mistress, Paula Broadwell, was so insecure that another woman might steal away her aging general that she sent threatening Mean Girls-like missives to her imagined rival, Jill Kelley. Then we find out that another general, this one named John Allen, sent like a gazillion "inappropriate" emails to Jill Kelley. But that's not all folks! Now we learn that the original FBI guy looking into the scandal got pulled from it. Why? Wait 'til you hear this latest wackadoodle high school drama ...

Reports say that the unnamed FBI agent, who was the first person to look into who was sending the bitchy emails to Jill Kelley, didn't exactly behave like a professional. As the scandal began to grow, the agent was taken off the case because his superiors worried he'd grown "obsessed" with the matter. Oh, and he sent shirtless photos of himself to Kelley. Because nothing says, "I'll get to the bottom of this" like sending a woman pics of your naked torso. Kelley and the FBI agent were apparently "friends." But I get the feeling friendship for this gang is a little different than it is for most.

It seems our highest levels of government is a raging Melrose Place with military fatigues. It's Gossip Girl with war medals. It's Desperate Husbands.

It goes to show you, anyone is capable of acting like an immature sexed-up fool no matter how high they might rank in the military or government. Look at Bill Clinton. Look at Anthony Weiner. (Hell, go back to John F. Kennedy if you wanna get crazy.)

Do we have a right to demand more of the people in charge of protecting this country? Um, yes. We're paying your salaries. Keep your drama on your own time. And grow up!

Does this behavior in our government and military officials surprise you?


Image via Getty