Marina Krim's Blog Shows a Mom in Love With Her Children Before They Were Savagely Murdered

nanny killed kidsAny normal, empathetic person reads a story like the one about the nanny suspected of killing two beautiful children, Lucia, 6, and little Leo, 2, on the Upper West Side of Manhattan and cries in pain for the mom. But then there are Internet commenters. What they say will make you want to scream. 

Sometimes the world can be a vicious place, and this is never more evident than in the online world. Two children are dead, their mom, a blogger (also described as a pediatrician and an art teacher according to the media) named Marina Krim, whose entire life CLEARLY revolved around her kids, was hospitalized in shock after finding them bloody in the bathtub. The best thing some online commenters can say is: "I am so glad I was able to stay home with my kids."

First of all, the nanny is only SUSPECTED. She has not been found guilty. But also, people are sick. They are twisted. This is too much. It has to stop.

This was a family who had plenty of money and three children. From what I can gather, there was a nanny, but the mother was using the nanny to allow her to get individual time with the kids. This is the reason a third child, Nessie, who is 3, was at swim lessons with her mom while the other two were killed.

More from The Stir: Nanny Accused of Killing Kids Makes Moms Feel Guilty for Needing Help

But also, it's none of my business (or yours) WHY she used a nanny. They clearly had the means to enjoy a lovely life where she had childcare help. This makes her a good mom, not a bad one. She knows the kids benefit more from a less harried mom. But still, I shouldn't have to defend her.

It's disgusting that anyone believes a comment like "this is why I stayed home with my kids" is helpful. Two beautiful children had their life snuffed out while their mother was at swim practice with their sister.

Just last June Krim describes Nessie getting her fingers stuck on an elevator as "One of my more awful mommy experiences!!!!" This was a woman who adored her children. Clearly. Whether she hired help or not.

Did a little girl deserve to lose her siblings because the family had a nanny? Or did this mother deserve to lose her beloved children because she hired help? Because it sure sounds like people think that.

Typically, it's easy to ignore online commenters because most of the time, those who comment anonymously over and over have too much time on their hands and loads of incredibly mean, incredibly unhelpful things to say that spring from their own lack of self-worth. But this is too much.

This story is horrific, a tragedy beyond all comprehension, and the best some people can say is: "I am a better mom than her." Gross. Vile. Repugnant. And by the way: Totally wrong, too. Having a nanny doesn't make a person a bad mom. Being a vicious, judgemental, mean person? Just might.

Would it make it any better if I said the nanny -- Yoselyn Ortega -- was a family friend whose family the Krim family visited in the Dominican Republic as recently as February? The fact is, no amount of vigilance on the part of a parent could stop this act. We are all powerless. Yes, even those of us who think we are better parents. So, let's stop judging and let's start grieving. 

This tragedy is one of the worst I've ever heard of. Being judgemental only makes it worse. 

Have you seen some of these awful comments?

 

Image via CarbonNYC/Flickr

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Craft... CraftyJenna

Comments like that make me hate the internet. People are so callous and smug online, and say things they would never say in "real life". I feel so bad for this poor women and her family. 

Desti... DestinyHLewis

That is truly disgusting that people would be so crass. I cannot imagine the horror this family is going through. My heart just bleeds for them. It was the first story I heard when I flipped on the news this am. I felt sick. Never once did the fact that I am a SAHM go through my head. All I could think was how awful this was and that if that woman lives I'd kill her myself as the mother of those sweet babies. I don't understand comments such as you mentioned. So she had a nanny? Don't we all leave our kids in the care of another person at some point? Ugh. Just ugh.

jalaz77 jalaz77

Waiting to hear them on The Stir.

Sara Haaf

Oh, there are people who make these kind of comments in real life. So sick of the mommy wars and smugness. Why can't we help and support one another instead of tearing each other down?

zombi... zombiemommy916

I'm willing to bet that those horrible "mothers" who are leaving comments, have left their kids with a sitter or family friend before...haven't these people been watching the news??? Anything tragic can happen to our children, at any time...regardless of who is caring for them...I don't understand how a mother can read that story and their first response would be "I'm happy I stay home with my kids"??! I'm also guessing that Mrs. Krim could care less what strangers are saying in reference to her choices as a mom...however, I hope she never sees the comments...hasn't she suffered enough?

Smerk... Smerkalot

First of all yes, this is sad.  But I don't see anything wrong with a commenter saying "I am so glad I was able to stay home with my kids".... just HOW is that callous?  It's not like it was directed AT the mother grieving her children, it was a public forum.  And, I don't know how as a mother you could read this story and not relate to your own children, and want to bring them even closer to you?  My mother worked, most people I knew and grew up with, their moms worked --- but they all also wished they would have been able to stay home with their kids.  Sometimes I really feel like you writers stretch things to get a 'story'.  This is the third piece about this story I've seen on the stir.  It definitely needs attention, and is so, so sad... but your repetitiveness is quite annoying.  I don't need three different authors opinions on the same site about the same thing.

Amanda Leigh Hlavacek

And the funny thing is she WAS a stay at home mom since her 1st child was born (6 years ago) and the nanny was hired just shortly after the 3rd baby was born. The nanny was hired so mom could have individual time with each child. A friend of mine, who lives on the upper west side, a few blocks away, said that dad was having an affair with the nanny, which was her reasoning for all this. But I dont know how true that actually is

Dawn D'Urso Brunner

Heartbreaking to see how cruel people can be.  This family needs compassion and support to get through such a horrible life altering ordeal.  I agree with Sara we need to help and support one another.  We spend so much time looking at our differences and feeling defensive about our differences that we put each other down and end up with a world of awful people treating each other with disrespect.  Very sad.

Angie Hayes

Just because she had a nanny doesn't mean she loved her children any less. My condolences to the family and I hope they get the help they need to get through this.

Jess Townsend

Good to see the usual amount of compassion I would expect from readers of The Stir. Sasha, I agree with you. Unfortunately, most of the readers on this site are part of them problem.

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