Angela BuchananThis story sounds like the laughably unbelievable plot of a bad soap opera, but apparently it all went down for reals in Texas. Two women, 31-year-old Angela Buchanan and an unnamed 50-year-old woman, became friends online. For seven years, they messengered each other. Then the younger woman went kinda loco and decided she must have the older woman, no matter what. No matter what, I say!!!
The plan she came up with to snag her lady love involves fake breast cancer, a fake gynecologist, and a real civil union. And honestly I don't think As the World Turns could have come up with a plotline weirder than this one. Sheesh, whatever happened to just asking someone to dinner?
Angela Buchanan allegedly became so besotted with her online friend that she did what any one of us with a crush would do: She pretended to be a gynecologist, contacted the older woman, said Angela had breast cancer, and told her to start having sex with Angela or she might die. C'mon, admit you've used that line once or twice.
The alarmed older woman apparently agreed to regular "healing" sex sessions with Angela to try and "save her life." Angela, pretending to be a gynecologist with the clever fake name of "Doc," would tell the older woman exactly how, when, and where she should have sex with Angela.
But then the older woman had a flash of insight: Maybe sex wouldn't be enough to save her friend. (Um, hello?!) So she suggested Angela undergo a mastectomy. Angela agreed and the woman accompanied her to a doctor -- only to find out that Angela had breast implants instead. It still manages to get weirder.
Now Angela, who had two children, began telling the woman that she was embroiled in a custody dispute and it would help her if she were married. So the woman did what any really naive woman who'd already been tricked into having sex to get rid of breast cancer would do: She married her in a civil union. Of course she did!
Eventually the older woman's daughter voiced suspicions that her mother was being taken for a ride, and the woman started digging around and found out the gyno "Doc" was fake. (You mean the name didn't give it away?) And, surprise, surprise, Angela also didn't have breast cancer. Nor any custody issues. Oops.
Sorry, but this older woman is the most naive person on the planet or she doesn't want to own up to being a lesbian. Ooooooo, I just did it all to save my friend. As for Buchanan, she has her own excuses. She reportedly told police she "had" to fool the woman or there would have "been no relationship." Well, in that case!
Angela Buchanan has been arrested and charged with online impersonation. Keep that in mind next time you try your own modern-day-Cyrano-de-Bergerac-ish-fake-gyno-fake-cancer-online-lesbian-love-trap. 'Kay?
Do you think the older woman is really naive or she must have known what was going on?
Image via Angelina County Jail