Vice Presidential Debate Gives Us a Scary Look Inside Joe Biden's Oompa Loompa Head

joe bidenSometimes I wonder what it’s like inside Joe Biden’s head. I imagine something like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory -- a place where you can say or do anything, eat all the candy you want, and Oompa Loompas are always there to clean up the messes you have fun making. 

“If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it.” 

Last night's vice presidential debate gave us just that opportunity.

Yes, the only thing that explains the things that come out of Joe Biden’s mouth is that in his head, he lives in some kind of fantasy land. In Biden World, it doesn’t matter that the Obama administration covered up a terrorist attack that killed four Americans, or that gas is edging up to $5 a gallon, or that Medicare and Social Security are bankrupt.

But look! Lollipops!

It took the White House almost a month to admit that the attack in Benghazi was a premeditated act of terrorism. They even sent out U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice to lie to the media about the nature of the attack. That week, She claimed, “It was a spontaneous, not premeditated, response to … a very offensive video.”

Except that they knew within 24 hours of the attack that al Qaeda was behind it. This is a big deal, people. The Obama administration covered up a terrorist attack.

But not in Biden Land. In Biden Land, the only reason people are talking about Libya is because, as Obama Deputy Campaign Manager Stephanie Cutter so eloquently put it, “the entire reason this has become the political topic it is, is because of Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan … It’s a big part of their stump speech. And it’s reckless and irresponsible, what they’re doing.” 

I’m not sure how calling a spade a spade is politicizing something. There was a premeditated terrorist attack in the Middle East on a United States Embassy, four Americans (including an ambassador!) were killed, and the White House tried to cover it up. But whatever -- Malarky!

Biden spent a lot of time talking about how war hungry Republicans like Romney and Ryan are. “You’re going to go to war? Is that what you want to do?” he practically actually shouted at Congressman Ryan. 

Why do Democrats think Republicans love war so much? We don’t. We also don’t think Iran having a nuclear weapon is a good idea. We like Israel and Benjamin Netanyahu very much. We think maintaining our alliance with Israel is of utmost importance with regard to Middle Eastern foreign policy. We don’t want to go to war -- we want Iran to stop trying to blow people up. We’ll do what’s necessary to protect our people.

And that was just in the first twenty minutes. Phew! It was a long, windy trip that I managed to follow without banging my head on the wall too much by imagining the inside of Joe Biden’s brain, where the government coffers flow magically like the river in the chocolate room. I can picture him lining up every American to sip the chocolate river, paying no attention to the fact that it has to come from somewhere. That’s probably why he was giggling so much.

The only problem is that money doesn’t grow on trees, Oompa Loompas are slave labor, and pay no attention to the $16 trillion debt behind the curtain

I may be getting my movie metaphors mixed up. There’s one thing for certain -- There’s no place I know that compares with your imagination, Joe Biden.


Image via marcn/Flickr

2012 election, politics


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Chrissy Potter Shah

bahaha....I love this metaphor.  I had to give the whole debate the ol' sideeye because Biden was behaving so badly.  I did admire Paul Ryan's calm demeanor throughout the thing...especially considering the way the moderator/aka Obama's friend schlepped for Biden all night.  
it was something to behold...except I couldn't.  That guy is our #2 man for several months....TERRIFYING. 

nonmember avatar Thea

Wow how ridiculous, were the two of you sniffing from the same bottle of glue? So all that ranting and ravind that Romney did during his debate makes him a saint? Did you come down on him afterwards for all the lying, question dodging, interrupting and flat out non facts? What's that i hear.....Crickets? Don't talk about Biden's being an oompa loompa unless you tie Romney in with him, his behavior was waaay worse and you couldn't see that? What idiots!!!!

nonmember avatar Thesimpletruth

Whether or not I agree politically is beside the point - the article was funny and clever.

nonmember avatar Chicago-Dude

/rant fail for Erick Erickson's minion.

This thread doesn't warrant a comment because J.Erickson's oped is filled with too many non sequitors and hence, an incoherent argument.

PS - Show some respect & class, for he is to be referred to as, "Mr. Vice-President."

nonmember avatar Grim

I have never been a fan of Biden's aging frat-boy personality, but his behavior last night was a new low for him. His grinning idiot routine during the discussion of Libya was absolutely revolting. The fact that he continued to act like a circus monkey for the rest of the debate made me thankful that Obama is in good health and not likely to drop dead before Romney takes over in January. I think his behavior last night was enough to get a lot of undecideds off the fence and onto Romney's lawn, if only for the peace of mind brought on by knowing we'll never have to hear the words "President Biden".

KathyTh. KathyTh.

Jenny, you may not agree with Joe Biden's politics, but he is the vice president of the United States and I think your article is obnoxious and disrespectful.  There is a way to say what you think without being this rude.


Frat boy is right Grim. He was an embarrassment to our country last night. I had a couple of Canadian cousins call me this morning and ask me if he was on drugs or drunk last night. That constant laughing over serious issues made it hard to concentrate. What a joke. Too bad the president felt he needed this since he was so ill prepared but Good O'l Frat Boy Biden was more than willing to be patted on the head and be an idiot for the team! Did you see his tail wagging?



RUDE Kathy, Biden was RUDE!! Interrupting over 80 times IS RUDE!

nonmember avatar guest24

Why is it that when Romney interrupts, he is called "passionate", "presidential", and a "real showman" and when Biden does it, he is a "rude frat boy?" There you go again Republican party...failing to hide that double standard. I mean really, this debate was much more civil then the last one and let me please just say, I do believe that Romney came off as more of a spoiled frat boy than Biden did. If I was sitting next to someone who was distorting facts to the detrament of the country, I would be upset as well. I laud Biden for his passion.

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