Mitt Romney's New 'Sesame Street' Theme Song Has Big Bird Singing the Blues

LOL 57

big birdGood morning everyone! Greetings from Mitt Romney's campaign headquarters where we are gloating over last night's very clear debate victory over President Barack Obama ... got him strapped to the roof of Mitt's Bentley. Oh, wait, no that's Jimmy Lehrer. Anyhoo, today is looking very bright, very bright indeed.

Mitt left the debate on such a high note, we've decided to make a few changes to our campaign, as follows.

First, we're changing our campaign slogan from "Believe in America" to "Don't Believe in Snuffleupagus."

More from The Stir: Big Bird, Jim Lehrer, and More in Our Post-Debate Google Hangout! (VIDEO)

Next, we're making our new Sesame Street platform a little clearer. For all of you who wanted details, here they are. If Mitt is elected:

  • Ernie & Bert will no longer be allowed to cohabit.
  • Miss Piggy, and other sluts like her, will no longer have access to birth control.
  • There will be no more of this "sharing" shit. More cookies for Cookie Monster!
  • Those weird freaky Muppets of different colors will be immediately deported. Does anyone even know their names? Elmo's gone too -- clearly, English is his second language.
  • Oscar the Grouch? Oh, I don't care about him. He's just one of those 47 percent of Muppets who don't take personal responsibility for themselves. Never mind a shower.

And finally, we'd like to introduce you to our campaign's new theme song. Here's Governor Mitt Romney, who will sing it for you.

Help Me Get Rid of Sesame Street (sing to the tune of Sesame Street)

Sunny Day
Sweepin' the poor away
On my way to where the wealthy meet

Can you help me get rid of,
Help me get rid of Sesame Street

Come and pray
Life will be A-OK
Wealthy neighbors there
That's where the Rich meet

Can you help me get rid of
Help me get rid of Sesame Street

It's a black stretch limo ride
Every door will open wide
To Wealthy people like you --
Wealthy people like you
What a beautiful

Sunny Day
Sweepin' moms & kids away
On my way to where the wealthy meet

Can you help me get rid of,
Help me get rid of
Sesame Street ...
Help me get rid of Sesame Street

 

Everybody Sing!


Image via EvelynGiggle/Flickr

2012 election, mitt romney

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tbruc... tbrucemom

The country is broke! PBS funding is the least of our concerns. You sound like a sore loser who can't handle that someone made Obama look mortal.

fleur... fleurdelys3110

A for effort in the attempt to be humorous. If this is the only thing you took away from last night's debate, then I'm not surprised you are voting for Obama, as this is clearly indicative of your intelligence level. Like I've said in other comments, the better Romney does, the more ridiculous the articles get on the Stir. This one is absolutely case in point.

nonmember avatar t1oracle

The country is broke but we can afford to give tax cuts to the rich? You're not making sense...

Sesame Street educates children helping them develop into productive GDP earning members of society. Maybe you should watch a few episodes, I'd suggest starting with Count Von Count... :-\

Emily Hoberg Roy

Cutting PBS from the federal budget does absolutely nothing to help the troubles we are in.  It is a very small drop in the bucket compared to defense and other budget items which do need be cut down. (not eliminated but cut down)

hotrd... hotrdumommy

Fleur-get off Romney's nutsack please. You don't make enough for him to give at least one fuck.

fleur... fleurdelys3110

@the last two commenters, Romney knows that cutting PBS funding won't solve all our problems. He was merely giving an example of one of the many stupid things government funds when it can't afford to. And oracle, Romney said that he will not pursure any further tax cuts for the welthy. He said it a million times, plain as day

fleur... fleurdelys3110

@hotdrumommy. Do not presume to know what I make, because you are absolutely wrong in your assumption. Ill stay right here on Romney's nutsack while you go get some common sense.

JAFE JAFE

I feel sorry for you if this is all you got from the debate last night. I really think this is the least of our problems.

SickO... SickOfMorons

"He was merely giving an example of one of the many stupid things government funds when it can't afford to" Educating children and enriching the culture are stupid things? That says a lot about you.

JAFE JAFE

Nice language hotfd. You must be terrified!! LOL!!!


 

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