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Criminals crazed on bath salts are sooo two weeks ago. Now it's all about crooks hooked on ... Nyquil? Okay, I'll admit I don't know for sure if the 20-year-old Oregon burglar who got busted sleeping on the kitchen floor of the house he was trying to rob was simultaneously trying to treat a bad head cold, but, come on. What kind of a burglar naps on the job??
Short answer: A really, really dumb burglar. That's right. You know how they say there's no honor among thieves? If the number of bone-headed burglars' bloopers on the record are any indication, well, it seems like sticky-fingered types might be lacking in smarts, too ...
I don't claim to be a professional thief -- not anymore, anyway (JOKING!), but even I know there are just some things smart burglars should never, ever do. Such as:
Bring Baby Along Hey, I'm a working mom. I know finding a babysitter at the last minute can be challenging. That's why sometimes, plans just have to be cancelled -- especially if they involve mugging somebody at gunpoint. Wouldn't the stroller make for an awkward getaway? (Yes, there really was a stroller.)
Leave Your Sex Tape Behind If you and your partner-in-crime (HAHAHA) are gonna steal a video camera to film yourselves having sex, save the movie-making for your own bedroom. Or if you break into somebody's house to get it on (and on camera) in their bed, at least take your DIY porn home with you.
Bring Your Gumby Costume Along Always wear a disguise when robbing a 7-Eleven. Never wear a Gumby suit as a disguise when robbing a 7-Eleven.
Leave Your Dog Behind Hey, I have a dog. I know finding a dogwalker can be challenging. That's why sometimes, plans just have to be cancelled -- especially if they involve robbing multiple homes. If you try to do both at the same time, maybe don't tie your dog up outside the homes as you burglarize them. Definitely don't leave your dog there.
Go Boozing With a Stolen Card Particularly not at the pub where the dude whose credit card you stole works as a bartender. Last call, indeed.
Would you make any of these mistakes if you were a burglar?
Image via Elliott Brown/Flickr