Okay, we're not saying Mitt Romney did spray-tan right before appearing on Latino network Univision. But ... it sure looks like Mitt Romney did spray-tan right before appearing on Univision. I mean, take a look at this picture!
First of all, this particular shade of orange does not exist naturally on human beings. It sure looks familiar, though ... Oh yes, it's the color of John Boehner and the entire cast of Jersey Shore! Secondly, compare with other photos of Mittens on the campaign trail where he looks like a whiter shade of pale. Seriously, did Mitt really try to darken his skin to appeal more to Latino voters? Sinvergüenza! Please at least tell me this shameless, ocher-tinted "tandering" was not Mitt's idea ...
SCENE: Univision green room, Mitt Romney with members of his campaign staff.
Staffer: Sir, I'm worried. You're already perceived by Latinos as Thurston Howell III. And then you dissed them in that leaked video as another group of people who probably don't support you. So we need to make you more relatable.
Mitt: (Laughing) You've gotta try this Fanta stuff! It's pretty good. And caffeine-free, too!
Staffer: Sir, are you listening?
Mitt: All right, junior. What can I do? Who do you want me to be today? I mean (chuckling) I know I'd be way more electable if I actually were a real Mexican, but I guess they figured out I'm not!
Staffer: Well, we need you to be less white.
Mitt: I can do that. I can do that. I think Ann has this stuff she sprays on herself sometimes, makes her look more tan.
Staffer: Exactly! Spray-tan! We just need some on your face. Come over here to the makeup chair and we'll fix you up.
APPROXIMATELY 30 MINUTES LATER ...
Mitt: Wow, this stuff really works fast! Think we used too much?
Staffer: Definitely not. One more thing, sir. Please, for the love of your Heavenly Father, be more sensitive when you talk about immigration. These are real people with real families, remember.
Mitt: Right, right ... sensitive. Be more sensitive ...
LATER, ON THE UNIVISION SET
Mitt: For those that are already here, that are undocumented, that were brought here by their parents and therefore are illegal aliens ...
What do you think -- did Romney use spray-tan or bronzer right before his Univision appearance?
Going to baseball games
Riding bike rides in the nice weather
Playing outside after work/school
Going for walks outside