Hey, you know that weird old recluse of a distant relative who keeps to himself, thinks the government is out to get him, stockpiles guns, won't go to the doctor, has no friends, and is a conspiracy theorist? Yeah, you know the guy I'm talking about. You try to stay as far away from him as possible.
But that could be a big mistake. Be nice to that guy! Verrrry nice. Because a guy like that usually won't put his cash in the bank. He doesn't trust banks, see. In fact, he thinks the government is going to collapse any day now, so he doesn't trust cash at all. Naw. He's all about gold. Lots of gold. And if you're very lucky, when this guy dies, and his private multimillion-dollar Fort Knox is found, you're his sole heir! Believe it or not, this all just actually happened with a secret gold-hoarder named Walter Samasko, of Nevada, and his first cousin, who hardly spoke to him. Try not to choke on your jealousy, because I almost did.
When Walter died a couple of months ago of heart disease, he was such a recluse that his corpse lay in his home for a month before anyone discovered it. As it was being readied for sale, state officials found anti-government and conspiracy books and guns in Walter's home. But they also found something a bit more interesting: Walter had long been collecting rare gold coins and gold bars. To the tune of $7 million or more. Talk about striking gold.
The problem? Walter had no will (of course!) and his only close relatives had already died. And he seemed to have no friends. So officials looked through the guest list of his mother's funeral, which had happened back in 1992, and managed to find a first cousin.
The cousin, Arlene Magdanz, lives in California and hadn't spoken to Walter in a year. Magdanz is reportedly a substitute teacher, and apparently when the lawyer broke the news that she was now filthy rich, she could only reply, "Oh my god. Oh my god."
Officials say they want to divvy up the money quickly so the government can take its share (hm, no wonder Walter didn't like the government). And they say since Magdanz is his only relative, the estate should be quickly settled.
Ha! How much you want to bet a bunch of five times removed relatives suddenly turn up, claiming eternal devotion to their deceased beloved?
Will this story make you nicer to your recluse relative?
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