Dad Who Forgives Teen Who Killed His Son Should Inspire Us All

Inspiring 23

We hear a lot about hero dads who defend their children against the dark forces of the world. There's the dad who beat his 4-year-old daughter's would-be molester to death. And the hero dad who chased down a man who allegedly tried to snatch his 2-year-old. What you don't hear about so often is a different kind of bravery -- one that doesn't require fists or chasing. One that doesn't require anger or vengeance but doesn't require a whole lot of courage. And that is the kind of dad who forgives the teen who killed his own son, and who not only forgives him, but hugs him.

It all started in Grand Rapids, Michigan, when Takunda Mavima, who was 17 at the time, had just been to a party celebrating his high school graduation. At the party there was alcohol. Takunda drank more than the legal limit. And he got in his car. And he ended up killing two other teens, who were in the car that Takunda hit. One of those teens was Tim See.

Tim's father, also named Tim, spoke on behalf of Takunda at his sentencing. Here is an extraordinary thing that Tim said in court:

I promised myself one thing that day. I promised myself I would not get angry.

Wow. Who could not get angry at this? He had every right to get angry. But he knew that getting angry would not bring his son back. He knew it would not change anything. It would only poison him. So he has campaigned for Takunda, asking the judge not to send him to jail:

I am begging you to let Takunda make something of himself in the real world-- don't send him to prison and get hard and bitter, that boy has learned his lesson a thousand times over and he'll never make the same mistake again.

Tim knew that the way to peace is forgiveness, not revenge. It also helps that Takunda has been very remorseful and apologetic.

Takunda was sentenced to jail anyway, as there are mandatory jail sentences with drunk driving in Wyoming. But the judge gave him the the lesser amount. In a heartbreaking but incredibly inspirational moment, Tim hugged Takunda after his sentencing.

Honestly, if there were more people like Tim See, Sr. in the world, it would be a much better place.

Could you forgive in this scenario?


Image via Sylvar/Flickr

accidents, death, crime

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Christine Wilnau

Geez TorranceMom. I'm sure you never made a bad CHOICE, huh? This kid is 18. Do you remember how dumb you were at 18? What a lack of judgement you had back then? If this was your kid who made a bad choice I bet your tune would change. Think about it.

kaity... kaitybird

We live in a day and age where it isn't only the kids who are drinking and driving.  Everyone who does it is always the thinking it is NEVER going to happen to them!  Then it does and well reality sets in.  Kudo's to the father who chose to forgive and not hold a grudge.  Holding grudges and being bitter robs you of what could be.  I know that life will be the same for that parent who has had to bury their child for whatever reasons!  The father made an unselfish choice!  

pixie... pixiemom1988

This is my Uncle, timmy was my cousin. We have been working hard to heal as a family. My whole family realizes that everyone in the car that night was at fault. It is horrible what happened, but nothing can ever change it.

Culle... Cullen.Girlie.

That is amazing! I believe that I could forgive! To me, its not all the driver's fault. The other kids chose to get into the car with someone who was intoxicated! Therefore, they put themselves at risk! Should the boy have driven while intoxicated? Of course not! Did they all make poor decisions? Yep! Starting with attending the party...where there was alcohol, in which they weren't of age to consume!

It is a sad situation...and props to the father for being able to forgive!! We need more like him around :)

Brend... Brendashere

I could probably forgive the young man, it wasnt a malicious act.    But I absolutely could not for give a child molester, or predator......Kudos to this young mans Father.......God Bless you

Bette Gorlitz

To the poster above, it happened in the city of Wyoming in the State of Michigan just south of Grand Rapids. The See family go to my church. For the record to other posters, Tim See's toxicology report showed no alcohol or drugs in his system when he died. From what I understand up until this accident, Takunda was a good student with a clean record. The laws that prohibit underage drinking are there to protect teenager like Tim and like Takunda. Science has proven that the teenage brain is incapable of making sound decisions even when they are not drunk let alone when they are under the influence. The real criminal is the adult who allowed Takunda to drink. These are all good kids that made a huge mistake. The entire community has been hurt by this. Mr. See should never have been put through this. He is a good man who knows where his son is now and he is giving Takunda what Christ gave him.

JiggyOz JiggyOz

Pixiemom - I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss!  I pray that God gives you all comfort during this terrible time.

This is just so sad for all parties involved.  I can't imagine the guilt that the young man will live with for the rest of his life.  I remember being 18 and feeling absolutely invincible.  I took stupid risks with my life, as I'm sure most of the other posters on here did.  I just pray that my kids make wiser decisions than I did...  

nonmember avatar kaerae

I have to agree with torrancemom on this. I hate the phrase "drunk driving accident." Um, no, that is a "purpose." I won't judge the dad, I have no idea what he's going through, and maybe he needs to do that to move on, but drunk driving is never an accident.

nonmember avatar laura

I don't know that I would be so forgiving. I've never been in this situation and pray that I never am on either ends. I will say though that I have an absolute ZERO tolerance for people who drink & drive. There's is absolutely no need of it. I do however know of 6 people who were killed in a drunk driving accident christmas eve 2006. I knew one person and my bf knew another. 4 kids not even old enough to drink killed a man his fiance and their dog coming home from christmas shopping going almost 100mph. All 4 kids died as well. There's just no need of it. U wanna drink... do not drive! Its as simple as that. If u can't find and don't have a DD... don't drink. Its never the drunk ones who cause the accident that get hurt... and situations such as occure. Its sad and unnessesary.

Brenda Nonamaker

That is a hard question. I am a parent of two grown children. I understand that he was seventeen, but he was drinking and not at a legal age to do so for one thing. The other is this might not have been the only time he was drinking and driving but this time he got caught. It was unfortunate that someone had to die and even more it doesn't mean that after jail time that it won't happen again. Forgiveness does not mean the person deserves it, it is for the person forgiving so they can move on with life. My thoughts and prayers go out to the families involved and for the teenager in prison that he will learn from this and know that life is precious and never touch alcohol again.

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