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Heartbreaking

11-Year-Old Boy May Have Abused Disabled Mom But He's a Victim Too

by Jeanne Sager on September 13, 2012 at 10:48 AM

electrical cordYou hear sad cases of child abuse in the news all the time. But in a bizarre and sad twist on the standard abuse case, an 11-year-old boy has been arrested this week and charged with beating his own disabled mom to the point where she had to be hospitalized.

It sounds like this poor woman, who has battled breast and skin cancers, just can't catch a break. And yet, I can't help feeling badly for her little boy. He might be responsible for beating his mom with an electric cord, but from the sound of it, he's just a little kid who has been failed by the system for far too long.

According to the cops who took the 11-year-old into custody and charged him with elder abuse and assault with a deadly weapon, the boy hasn't had a normal childhood. He lives alone with his 51-year-old mother who never leaves the house, and he is her primary caregiver. This 11-year-old cooks. He cleans. He does laundry.

Would it really be a surprise if this kid snapped?

We already known that people who are providing the primary care for a sick loved one are at a higher risk of depression, often see their own health decline, and are often unable to handle the mounting stress. Now try putting all that on the shoulders of a little boy, a kid whose own body is dealing with the changes that come with hitting the tween years. He's likely struggling with anger over the loss of his childhood, coupled with the feelings of helplessness that kids naturally feel when they're trying to buck their parents' rules as they grow up.

He should have been getting help all along. Unfortunately, it's taken an extreme situation -- his arrest, his mom's hospitalization -- to finally get what he so desperately needed: attention from the authorities.

Kids being forced to provide care for ailing parents is an under-reported but serious problem in this country. According to one study of high school drop-outs, as much as 22 percent were leaving school because they had to help care for a family member.

It's a situation that needs to be addressed, to be fixed, to give kids their childhoods back, and to prevent situations like this.

I don't excuse a boy allegedly beating his mom with an electrical cord. But I can't help thinking he's been punished enough. What he needs now is help.

What do you think should be done with this boy now?

 

Image via Public Domain Photos/Flickr

Filed Under: crime, human rights

Comments

62
  • Lesli...
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    Leslie_ABS

    September 13, 2012 at 10:55 AM

    That poor kid. Of course what he did was terrible, but that's what people do when they are desperate, especially an 11 year old kid. I hope that he and his mother gets the help that they need.

     


  • dixie...
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    dixiechick2

    September 13, 2012 at 11:04 AM
    Get this young man some counseling, and his mother too. Then get someone to come into the home to care for his mother, so he can have a normal childhood.
  • craft...
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    craftycatVT

    September 13, 2012 at 11:11 AM
    Aren't there any family members who could have stepped in here? Where is this boys father? Poor kid!
  • the4m...
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    the4mutts

    September 13, 2012 at 11:12 AM
    This is sad all around, but that poor kid doesn't deserve juvi. He needs help, both psychologically and with his mother's care.
  • work4...
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    work4mickey

    September 13, 2012 at 11:18 AM
    Would you let an 11 year old be the primary cargiver of a child.
    If an adult needs a caregiver, It should not be a child.
  • zandh...
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    zandhmom2

    September 13, 2012 at 11:26 AM

    Very sad.  I also wonder why no other family member has stepped in to help them. Most adults get burned out from taking care of a sick family member, I can't image how hard it must have been on him.


  • CPN322
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    CPN322

    September 13, 2012 at 11:44 AM

    He needs counseling, not jail time. He should never have been put in that position in the first place. The original article makes mention of her having a mental illness on top of physical problems. I can't even imagine how that child felt having to take care of a mother dealing with all of that. I have so many questions.  I'm glad that the state has now been made aware of their situation. I pray that they help not just the mother but the boy as well.


  • cmjaz
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    cmjaz

    September 13, 2012 at 11:51 AM
    How long has he been caring for her? If its already been a few years, then he's been doing it since he was 9 years old. Sad sad sad
  • Torra...
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    TorranceMom

    September 13, 2012 at 1:05 PM
    This situation is tragic for both mother and son. Hopefully they'll both get the help they need.
  • Trina...
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    Trina.mhmm

    September 13, 2012 at 7:18 PM

    How sad. I cannot imagine being in his shoes. Im suprised the mother would expect and let something like this go on thinking its normal and healthy. Hopefully they will both get help and be able to move on together with a healthier relationship


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