You hear sad cases of child abuse in the news all the time. But in a bizarre and sad twist on the standard abuse case, an 11-year-old boy has been arrested this week and charged with beating his own disabled mom to the point where she had to be hospitalized.
It sounds like this poor woman, who has battled breast and skin cancers, just can't catch a break. And yet, I can't help feeling badly for her little boy. He might be responsible for beating his mom with an electric cord, but from the sound of it, he's just a little kid who has been failed by the system for far too long.
According to the cops who took the 11-year-old into custody and charged him with elder abuse and assault with a deadly weapon, the boy hasn't had a normal childhood. He lives alone with his 51-year-old mother who never leaves the house, and he is her primary caregiver. This 11-year-old cooks. He cleans. He does laundry.
Would it really be a surprise if this kid snapped?
We already known that people who are providing the primary care for a sick loved one are at a higher risk of depression, often see their own health decline, and are often unable to handle the mounting stress. Now try putting all that on the shoulders of a little boy, a kid whose own body is dealing with the changes that come with hitting the tween years. He's likely struggling with anger over the loss of his childhood, coupled with the feelings of helplessness that kids naturally feel when they're trying to buck their parents' rules as they grow up.
He should have been getting help all along. Unfortunately, it's taken an extreme situation -- his arrest, his mom's hospitalization -- to finally get what he so desperately needed: attention from the authorities.
Kids being forced to provide care for ailing parents is an under-reported but serious problem in this country. According to one study of high school drop-outs, as much as 22 percent were leaving school because they had to help care for a family member.
It's a situation that needs to be addressed, to be fixed, to give kids their childhoods back, and to prevent situations like this.
I don't excuse a boy allegedly beating his mom with an electrical cord. But I can't help thinking he's been punished enough. What he needs now is help.
What do you think should be done with this boy now?
Image via Public Domain Photos/Flickr
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Comments 62
My best friend, who is going on 25, is the sole caregiver to her 96 year old grandmother. She goes there every night to keep an eye on her. However, this means that she cannot go anywhere or do anything after 8:30pm, and no breaks ever. Her puppy's behavior has gone out of whack, as her father isn't being consistent with training. No one else in the family will care for grandma, save for one uncle (grandma's SON) who is a con artist. My friend took on the job when uncle stated that he wanted the deed to the house and ALL of grandma's possessions! But now she cannot get even a single night off. She's tired, frustrated, etc.
And she's 24, a grown woman. So I can see why an 11 year old would utterly SNAP
Although I feel bad for the kid, it's not an excuse... My brother and I had to care for our mother and ourselves. Most of the time it was me who did everything.. Getting angry and depressed is one thing, but hurting someone is another thing.
No one can understand this situation unless you've lived it. My mother slowly died of cancer when I was a child and I was often, although not her only, caretaker. My father left the house around 5:30 A.M. and didn't return until just before 5:00 P.M. and so during the day; before school, at lunch, and after school I was her caretaker, as well as during the summer. She was mostly bedridden those last two years before she died in September when I was nine so not only was I her caretaker but realistically she wasn't given the care she really should have had. This was in the 60's and we were working middle class and had little family for support, if hospice existed then we didn't know about it, and there was no FMLA nor could we have afforded for my father to take unpaid time off as we were dealing with overwhelming medical costs as it was. My heart goes out to this child, our system has failed both the child and the mother tragically and he should not be punished but both he and his mother should receive the counseling and support they need.