11-Year-Old Boy May Have Abused Disabled Mom But He's a Victim Too

Heartbreaking 62

electrical cordYou hear sad cases of child abuse in the news all the time. But in a bizarre and sad twist on the standard abuse case, an 11-year-old boy has been arrested this week and charged with beating his own disabled mom to the point where she had to be hospitalized.

It sounds like this poor woman, who has battled breast and skin cancers, just can't catch a break. And yet, I can't help feeling badly for her little boy. He might be responsible for beating his mom with an electric cord, but from the sound of it, he's just a little kid who has been failed by the system for far too long.

According to the cops who took the 11-year-old into custody and charged him with elder abuse and assault with a deadly weapon, the boy hasn't had a normal childhood. He lives alone with his 51-year-old mother who never leaves the house, and he is her primary caregiver. This 11-year-old cooks. He cleans. He does laundry.

Would it really be a surprise if this kid snapped?

We already known that people who are providing the primary care for a sick loved one are at a higher risk of depression, often see their own health decline, and are often unable to handle the mounting stress. Now try putting all that on the shoulders of a little boy, a kid whose own body is dealing with the changes that come with hitting the tween years. He's likely struggling with anger over the loss of his childhood, coupled with the feelings of helplessness that kids naturally feel when they're trying to buck their parents' rules as they grow up.

He should have been getting help all along. Unfortunately, it's taken an extreme situation -- his arrest, his mom's hospitalization -- to finally get what he so desperately needed: attention from the authorities.

Kids being forced to provide care for ailing parents is an under-reported but serious problem in this country. According to one study of high school drop-outs, as much as 22 percent were leaving school because they had to help care for a family member.

It's a situation that needs to be addressed, to be fixed, to give kids their childhoods back, and to prevent situations like this.

I don't excuse a boy allegedly beating his mom with an electrical cord. But I can't help thinking he's been punished enough. What he needs now is help.

What do you think should be done with this boy now?

 

Image via Public Domain Photos/Flickr

crime, human rights

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Amber Nicole Carr

ya know how i feel about this is prolly gonna make everyone mad. i understand kids need a childhood blah blah blah. but look back when kids younger than him were working in the farms and stuff. there whole life was working and helping family. did they snap one day and try and kill their parents? no! i think this kid has some major problems but its not due to having to take care of a sick parent. thats whats wrong with kids now days anyway. they are given an ultimatum to their actions. by saying its wrong that u did this but its ok too cause u missed out on shild hood. so now all that has taught them is they can do whatever they want and blame it on something else.

Elisa Chubka

he needs help not punishment otherwise he'll escalate and feel worse because noone cared enough to help him

nonmember avatar Zuri

As a young girl whose mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor when I was 9 years old, I think this kid does deserve some form of punishment. I won't pretend I was the primary caregiver because my dad pretty much took over (didn't this boy have a dad? Under what circumstances did anyone trust an 11 year old to take care of his mother?), but I did a lot of work. If that had been my situation for several years and most of the responsibility was mine, there's NO WAY I would've just snapped and beaten anybody, much less my own mother! This kid needs a night in jail and serious counseling. Sad story all around.

nonmember avatar Tanni

He doesn't need to be in jail that's for sure! He needs help and a normal childhood.

nonmember avatar tk

I been n this situation n I'm grown n still in it I'm my mothers care giver n it has gotten really stressful before. Trying be there for her balance work n school etc. He needs counseling n not jail time.The system did fell him,was he even in school?

Elena Duran

This kid needs help not jail. I helped care for my father when he was dying of cancer, he got sick 2 months after I turned 8 and passed 1 month before I turned 9. It really sucked.

Marie Molnar

 


 


NO ONE can say they would do this or that and not snap at his age and emotional growth/maturity unless they went through EXACTLY what he did. Just because a parent had a disease when you were a child and another parent stepped in doesn't mean it is the same thing (not trying to demean your experience). Just because children in history worked on the farm at young ages isn't the same thing. What is different with those children and this one? THEY HAD PARENTS, this child had himself and only himself. The mother was deathly sick and we all know a person in that position can in no way be a parent. This child had to be a parent to himself a care provider to his mother a maid a cook a nurse a therapist with the maturity level and emotional stage of an 11 year old or younger.


 


 

Angel... AngelGirl1517

I was the sole caregiver of my very ill Mother AND mentally ill Father from the time I was 7, and still do it to this day, 17 years later, I have never snapped or beaten either of my parents, but I do certainly agree it is quite likely one of the worst possible lives a child could EVER have.  To have to grocery shop, meal plan, cook, clean, pay bills, garden, care for animals, care for parents, be a live-in counselor...  yeah, there is just no other way to describe it other than it completely sucks and is quite frankly abusive. You are forced to be an adult without the benefit of first being a child. HOWEVER, at NO time, Ever is it excusable or understandable to beat another human being to the point of sending them to the hospital.  Doesn't matter what his situation is (which, obviously, I can empathize with), he should most definitely be JAILED and given some SERIOUS counseling to address that anger issue before he gets bigger!

Sarah Roe

Not all children have a father around. I am a single mother and the sperm donor split and don't want anything to do with her. Maybe that is the reason the father isn't there too. Plus not all kids can handle being the primary care provider to a parent.

Kitwench Ferret

That poor child. He should not be sharged with a crime, he should receive counseling and be given a chance to have a life.

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