Unemployed and struggling to find work? Maybe you're simply in the wrong industry! Have you considered becoming ... an exorcist? Well, perhaps you should! The demon-busting business is booming, apparently, and to prove it, the "world's first monthly magazine devoted exclusively to the art of exorcism" is being launched this month in Poland.
That's right, Egzorcysta (which, by the way, would make an awesome name for a death metal band) will feature 62 fun-filled pages in its first issue, including articles such as "Satan is real" and "New Age -- the spiritual vacuum cleaner" (which, by the way, would make an awesome name for an emo/punk band. Just the "spiritual vaccuum cleaner" part, of course). Now, you might be wondering about who, exactly, the priests and publisher behind Egzorcysta are expecting to snap up the initial 15,000 copies in print. Surely non-clergy types would have little to learn from such a magazine, right?
Oh, there is much valuable knowledge for the general (Polish-speaking) public to gain from flipping through a copy of Egzorcysta.
Father Aleksander Posacki, "leading demonologist and exorcist," wants the world to know that those typical Hollywood representations of demonic possession are in fact ... fairly accurate.
Possession, he says, "manifests itself in the form of screams, shouting, anger, rage -- threats are common. Manifestation in the form or [sic] levitation is less common, but does occur and we must speak about it -- I’ve seen it with my own eyes."
Now there's a factoid just about anybody can use! You're totally ready to subscribe, right? But wait, there's more. Maybe you're wondering WHY there's been a rise in exorcists "from four to more than 120 over the course of 15 years in Poland." Too much American television, perhaps? Pop music? Maybe the devil lives in high fructose corn syrup?
Uh, no. According to Posacki, the "1989 downfall of Poland's atheistic communist regime" is the cause: "Capitalism creates more opportunities to do business in the area of occultism. Fortune telling has even been categorized as employment for taxation."
Well, I'll be damned.
Would you buy Egzorcysta magazine (if you could read Polish)?
Image via ChicagoGeek/Flickr